Features
Women in Buddhism
Notwithstanding, December to me is the month to celebrate women. I presume the reason is that I revere Sanghamitta Theri, daughter of Emperor Asoka, who on request of King Devanampiyatissa on behalf of the women in his court, was sent to Lanka. She brought saplings from the Gaya Bo Tree under which Siddhartha Gautama solved the riddle of samsaric existence and found a solution. She also started the Bhikkhuni Order in this country.
I do not mean to write histories or biographies. Rather do I wish to imagine the emotions felt by the women I respect and include in this article; and what to me is remarkable in their lives. This Sunday is most apt to remember a few chosen women who influenced many, since propitiously the last poya for the year comes right after Christmas. Christmas is a festival celebrated by most persons in Sri Lanka. The next day this year is Duruthu Poya, celebratory for the reason given above. Thus 200–300 BC, women in Lanka were treated equal to men: if bhikkhus were ordained, the privileged choice was given to women too.
Though my title defines women Buddhists, I begin by writing about the respect and reverence I have for Virgin Mary, that most gentle woman who suffered the greatest sorrow of all sorrows, witnessing the death of her son. Mercifully her mourning was short lived since Jesus resurrected himself and ascended to heaven. Another admirable woman at the same time was Mary Magdalene, devoted to merciful Jesus Christ. Having been in a Methodist school; learning Scripture as the timetabled period for learning Christianity was named, and going to Church on Sundays, I learned much. The Bible, particularly the psalms, were studied with pleasure.
Princess Yashodara
Of all women of all time, my most respected wonderful woman is Yashodara, wife at 16 years to Prince Siddartha Gautama of the Sakyan Clan. My admiration was consolidated after seeing the 2018 film Bimba Devi hevath Yashodara scripted and directed by Prof Sunil Ariyaratne. An Indian actor was wisely chosen to play the part of Yashodara – Pallavi Subhash – exquisite and ably capturing the nuances of character of the princess from marriage to old age as a bhikkhuni.
Indian Arpit Choudhary plays Siddhartha. Other actors were all local. It starts with a group of brown clad bhikkhunis walking and Yashodara’s voice comes through, retailing her life and saying she is now close to death and goes to where the Buddha is. Flashbacks screen incidents in the lives of the two.
The most obvious emotions that come to my imagining mind of how she felt, were her love for the person she married, and respect and devotion to the great monk and teacher he became. She was chosen by the Prince from very many young girls, even though unwilling to tie himself down to normal life, having already been disillusioned. But karma determined otherwise. She had been his wife in many previous lives of both.
He told his father Suddodhana and foster mother Prajapati Gotami that he had to leave lay life and go seek the truth of existence when he was to be announced as heir to the Sakyan Principality. The king was angered but Gotami understood him. This same intent told to Yashodara would naturally have saddened her immensely, particularly because it seems to have been when she was pregnant, but she accepted it as destiny decreed. Her only request was that he leave when she was asleep. He did that the day his son was born, whom he named Rahula, knowing that if he stayed longer in lay life, he would not be able to desert his child, bonds becoming stronger.
Anyone can imagine the sorrow and pain of mind Yashodara would have undergone. To me is the additional emotion of deep understanding, empathy towards his need for asceticism, unselfish giving up and resignation to what karma decreed. The Buddha said that we are born of our karma, live by it and die when destined by karma. Thus is seen the metha and karuna in her: all-encompassing love and kindness – two of the Four Brahma Viharas.
When she got news of her husband as a strict ascetic undergoing privations, she resolved to give up luxury living, good food and sleeping comfortably in bed. That demonstrated the deep bond she had with him but minus any clinging or resentment.
When she heard he had gained enlightenment and was a Buddha, she would have felt the third noble feeling of muditha – joy in other’s success – rejoicing he had found the truth of all life – unsatisfactoriness – and defining the Noble Eightfold Path to end it.
The fourth Brahma Vihara she showed as being in her nature was when she pointed to Rahula that the robed monk who came to the Sakyan palace was his father – equanimity or uppeka. Suddodhana was appalled and surely disturbed when he heard his son was going seeking alms with bowl in hand. Not Yashodara.
Retained in her were certain human qualities. To me her staying in her part of the palace without going to meet the Buddha, demonstrated certain pride, maybe doubt whether her husband, now a Buddha, would have foresworn her, and not acknowledge her. He came to her. She fell at his feet and sobbed, it is said. Was it selfishness or a desire to show loss or resentment? I cannot accept that. I feel strongly that her tears were of joy at his having achieved his aim in life and being so humble as to come to her. There may have been sadness too, as the bond of man and wife was rent asunder. She was still a woman with attendant frailaties.
Yashodara became a bhikkhuni after Prajapathi Gotami inaugurated the Order, and it is believed she became an arahnat. She traveled far when old and nearing death to be in the presence of the Buddha. This to me is appreciation, respect and sublime love and devotion.
Two recent Bhikkhunis
I had the great good fortune of getting to know two brown robed ten preceptors in the 1970s: one a German Jew and the other Australian. Ayya Khema used to stay with my kalyanamitta Ratna Dias whenever she left her aranya for Colombo. She then acquired an island in the Ratgama Lake in Dodanduwa in the vicinity of the Island Hermitage and built kutis for visiting seekers of meditation guidance and a dormitory with six rooms.
Once the arrival of foreign seekers dwindled due to the civil war, we local women were afforded open sesame by disciplinarian Ayya Khema. In sharp contrast was Ayya Vayama, very young ten preceptor, who took residence in Parappuduwa Nuns’ Island giving yeoman service in managing the place. They strictly observed all vinaya rules set down by the Buddha – more than for monks.
All others and I respected Ayya Khema very much, even feared her since she never minced words in faulting or advising women who came to her meditation sessions and retreats. But she led hundreds of Sri Lankan, Australians and German women to the Path and was an excellent meditation teacher. She was a doer and leader by nature. She never gave in, particularly to physical frailties.
She had cancer for long and when it troubled her, she went on a water only diet. While residing in Sri Lanka, she received higher ordination in San Francisco and was then referred to as Bhikkhuni Ayya Khema. She returned to Germany to continue her preaching and meditation retreats when she was advised to barbwire the island due to incursion of JVP insurgents. She died in her late 80s of cancer.
Ayya Vayama was long here and became a very close friend of mine. Her adherence to vinaya rules was so strong that she refused even clear soup at night, and never carried money. She went to Amaravati, UK, to proceed on the Path. She was then requested to return to Australia by Ajahn Brahmavamso to start a nuns’ aranya in Perth which she successfully achieved. She was ordained a bhikkhuni by Ajahn Brahm.
Sadly she died prematurely of a nerve ailment which made her wheel chair bound. She radiated metta, truly did so, which was felt by people. Her beliefs and emotions I respectfully discern as unshaken faith in the Buddha, Dhamma, Sangha, and absolute devoutness. Her kindness and concern were all encompassing and she was full of the four Brahma Viharas.
To write about these wonderful dedicated women from the time of the Buddha to the very recent past is certainly gratifying on this day before Duruthu Poya.