‘When I become Leader of Sri Lanka’

Long ago, about 65 or more years ago, when I was a schoolboy, I wrote an essay on the above subject. Don’t ask me what I wrote in that essay. I remember nothing. I never thought I would have to write another essay on the same subject after almost a lifetime. This time it is serious as it is about the life and death of a nation.

The thought of becoming the President of this country is pure nonsense and useless wishful thinking. But it gives me a free hand to indulge in creative writing or day dreaming. It certainly is not going to be fiction or an irresponsible bedtime story. It will be very serious and I am going to put to work all the gray matter, what little still left of it in my brain and all the warmth and hope, not much really, still left in my old, betrayed, dried up and broken heart.

First things first

As soon as I become the President of this country my first presidential order would be to close all the exits in the country by see and air with strict orders and instructions that any officer who helps anybody leave this country will be strictly dealt with by confiscating all the movable and immovable property he has; for his crime will be treason, a crime second only to murder, as he has helped an enemy of the nation, an enemy of the people to escape.

Secondly, I shall remove all the top administrative officials who had been hand in glove with the previous corrupt, dishonest and dictatorial misgovernance. I had already, with serious consultation, made the list of the scoundrels. I am not going to expose the list till my dream comes true, of course. Similarly, I have also made the list of respected gentlemen and ladies who will grace those vacated posts. All the accused parliamentarians and the officers will be given one month of grace time to hand back the stolen wealth and properties, movable and immovable, to the new government. Otherwise, I shall start the process of arresting all the criminals who have ruined the economy of the country and brought it to its knees and bankruptcy. The Supreme Court has given us one list, but there are many more. Their passports, diplomatic, normal or duplicates will be taken into police custody. After arresting these evil smelling insects, the closed exits out of the country will be opened.

Thirdly, the firms and individuals who hoard abroad their profits in dollars will be requested to repatriate those profits. Otherwise, my government will not respectfully deal with them any longer. Those profits were made by the sweat of our people and the profits must remain in this country. So, they will be dealt with. These activities will not take even a week.

Fourthly, all those who have had their huge loans written off will get the same conditions to pay them back to the banks. Those companies, especially distilleries, which have not paid their tax dues in millions will be treated similarly.

Fifthly, those who are listed in Pandora Papers, Paradise Papers, Panama Papers and those with assets hidden in Switzerland, Virgin Islands, the Seychelles and other illegal tax havens will not go free. All these people and businesses will be given a period with a definite deadline to do their duty by the country and the people. Unless they comply, they will be arrested wherever they may be.

Finally, and concurrently to the above operations, Parliament will be dissolved. The Election Commissioner will implement all arrangements for a general election. I am sure of victory with a two-thirds majority. With the presidency and two thirds of the parliament in hand these are the top priority decisions I shall make.

Before anything else I shall make damn sure that AR and FR are strictly back in use.

Ugent top priority needs

People are on the warpath. Lifting this country out of debt will be a war. You cannot fight a war on empty stomachs. So, making available immediately good nutritional food to all will be our first duty. Anybody selling food not suitable for human consumption or over pricing will be dragged to courts and punished. This reminds me of our lovable pachyderms eating polythene with thrown away food and dying a slow death of poisoning and indigestion. It is also dangerous and fatal to our dear deer and other smaller innocent beings who have the right to life as much as we. Hence, all the garbage dumps in the country will be immediately buried with plans to recycle them in future. Any generous soul who loves our wild life can put in the forest clean elephant-food and various eatables for the others.

Health is another top priority for people fighting a war. NMRA will be immediately revived with honest committed and knowledgeable experts to check all the medicines in stock for their authenticity and effectiveness. The officers responsible for deleting all the data of the NMRA will be severely dealt with. Somehow or other, all the vital medicines and medical materials necessary will be supplied to our hospitals.

A plea will be made to the medical men and women who are abroad to come to our rescue. We promise them a free hand and job satisfaction though a big salary cannot be guaranteed immediately. And I shall remind them of the Hippocratic Oath they have taken.

All that is best is for the children. All our efforts are for their future and for their sakes. Therefore, free education is a top priority and a serious affair and the classroom teaching will be made relevant to the times. Teachers’ salaries will be updated but they will be strictly accountable for good results. They must make tuition redundant. That is the goal to be attained within one year.

The Online bill, Anti-terrorism bill and other draconian bills passed by the present rotten regime to suppress the democratic rights of the people will be suspended till they are amended or thrown in the dustbin.

All pensions of the MPs and Presidents will be abolished retroactively. All government mansions given free to retired presidents, and their widows will be taken back and the residents thrown out. And the national list will be abolished. Car, bar, this and that permit will be no more. Legislators will be given only a monthly salary like all citizens and their allowances for daily attendance will be cancelled. Either come and humbly serve the country or don’t even think of doing politics any longer. For, politics will not be any longer a crooked business, it will be an eminent service to the country.

This would be a sort of foundation laid firmly so that the rest of the planning and implementing will be coloured by this and followed through in the same spirit. A new constitution and the abolishment of the executive presidency will be quietly implemented.

We believe Sri Lanka will rise from the ashes like a Sphinx, thanks to Aragalaya, the spontaneous beginning of the rise of the people to power.

Jayawewa!

Fr J.C. Pieris