WHAT’S ON TV?

By Ransiri Menike Silva

The above innocuous question can yield a variety of answers, for there is much on TV going on all day on all the TV channels.

Though referred to as the ‘idiot box’ the TV does not carry only ‘idiotic’ stuff but caters to a wide range of interests for people of all ages, the most meaningful of which are the documentaries from which the viewer gathers extra knowledge in many fields.

On the negative side are the doleful dramas in different languages thrust upon us by Hollywood, Bollywood, Kollywood and now, Korean-wood! – and the absurd advertisements aired regularly.

I shall comment first on the latter irritant. There is an abundance of these badly produced ads that interrupt the viewing time of good productions.

This horrendous crime is committed by the advertising companies which have a tight hold on the purse strings and are labouring under the impression that the more often an ad is shown the more effective it will be. In reality it works in reverse order.

To curb extra expenses incurred by productions filmed here, these companies display cheap ones produced in India which often have no relevance to our country.

These short-sighted people appear to be unaware of our own superb film location in the south – ‘Ran-Mini- Thenna’ offering affordable rates.

On the other hand there have been some excellent advertisements produced locally that have had a positive feed-back from the public. Some of these are ‘mini-stories’ of sorts that captivate the viewer and thereby promote the product on offer. Unfortunately the producers, labouring under the moronic impression that short is sweet, have slashed down the original version to a mere snippet which is ordinary, meaningless and utterly boring. Two outstanding examples of this were the exhilarating original versions advertising Mortein Cockroach spray and a well known Ayurvedic cough syrup.

In a bid to economise the producers of bad ads, unearth untrained ‘models’ from within their own circle of acquaintances, who are enticed more by the publicity thus earned than the pittance in payment.

These specimens are inappropriately attired; bare their teeth like enraged curs – in lieu of smiles; mouth phrases learned by rote to promote products they have never used. Their unconvincing performances only drive away potential customers.

Our young models, both male and female, professional or otherwise are a feast for the eyes, but the same cannot be said of the elderly lot. Some of them are pleasant, dignified and fit snugly in to their well performed roles, others are an eye-sore.

Two elderly people, a man and a woman, appear to be addicted to screen portrayals, sneaking in to every role possible, however minor – the male especially loves to be attached to females, the younger the better!

Then there is the mimic who believes he is an accomplished actor, under the impression that stammering is a comical trait, he stammers his way through every role he can work himself into. He also promotes greed, grabbing and holding on to some food product yelling – “Bedhā ganna nevei – badhā ganna !” What a disgusting example to set for children.

The use of children even as voices in the background, to advertise products or promote even worthwhile projects is child abuse in its basest form. Both, the advertisers and the parents who ‘sell’ their children, mainly mothers with warped ambitions, should be charged in courts and severely punished, imprisoned in fact, for committing such an outrageous crime.

It has been proved that animation is a more innovative, attractive and effective alternative. So why not use it more often?

The latest trend, borrowed from Bollywood, is to insert English phrases in between — “OK amma?”; “Thank you, amma!”; “Don’t worry, amma!” ; “Surprise!!”; “I love you”; “I love you too,” etc.

Then we have actresses, long past their prime, who appear singly or in groups to advertise complexion enhancing products. Perhaps this is to supplement their low income due to their enforced retirement from stage and screen.

An enterprising sales gimmick by a marketer of spectacles was to sponsor a tele-drama which featured almost 70% of the actors wearing the actual models of the spectacles he was selling! A novel idea for which the trader should be heartily congratulated.

As a respite from grumbling I shall comment on the documentaries that are resounding in contrast. These are authentic productions that cover an unimaginable array of subjects. Even those mainly targetting children educate us adults as well. What an immense store of extra knowledge I have gathered from them. Both foreign and local productions are of an equally high standard and I offer boundless thanks to the producers, narrators and the real heroes, and the cameramen in the background who undergo untold hardship to present these programs to us.

Some recording nature have yielded ‘seeing is believing’ occurrences – water from the waterfall being blown back upwards (!) both here and abroad, and a wild boar contentedly grazing on its bended knees and covering on extensive area in that same position!

Fascinating was the perfectly timed instant upward swing of a hanging bat for a momentary defecation and a similar performance by pigeons and doves roosting on the ledges of building.

I have swum through sunken ships; ridden on the backs of whales; been high up on mountain tops; trudged through snow; trekked through dense forests; and gazed direct into the eyes of a leopard – merely – by sitting comfortably in front of the TV.

Handicraft; traditional music and dancing; authentic indigenous healing that even mended fractures; the superstitions connected to each subject, have made inroads into my brain to be lodged there permanently.

Now to the dramas aired regularly.

There should be a restriction on the number of episodes for each drama. Some that are being currently aired have been going on non-stop for several years. The first child actors are now past their adolescence and the current storyline has deviated much from the original.

In contrast there are some excellent ones produced and directed by well known dramatists that are meaningful, short and attention-holding. Regretfully, viewing them is a hassle, the incessant stream of repetitive ads in between hindering enjoyment.

Over a decade ago I was vacationing in Australia and found that they had perfected the art of ‘ad control’. Each advertisement is permitted only once during any particular program, with not more than four between each episode. At the end of the month viewers are invited to rate on the quality of the ads. The best is awarded appropriate rewards while the worst is struck off permanently from all forms of media, in addition to fines.

How gloriously effective it was – a superb example for Sri Lanka to follow.

Now back to Sri Lanka.

There are many tele-dramas and even films that are a downright insult to humanity, which have been produced even by established directors.

It is considered imperative that a disabled person be a part of the show, either in a central, major or minor role. Often it is some trifling bit – player in the back-ground who has nothing at all to do with the story.

So there is a plethora of imbeciles; deaf-mutes; blind people; stammerers; dumb people; victims of facial tics and body contortions. In order to accommodate them, crutches, and wheel chairs galore.

The most fancied of these deformities are that of the teeth, with an unimaginable array of badly constructed dentures, protruding or otherwise, their unfailing close-ups being particularly repulsive.

Another ‘must’ – the long loose tresses of women, in the office; ambling along the highway; in buses; or in the case of ‘village’ damsels, performing innumerable domestic chores like eating; drinking; cooking at an open fire-place; sweeping the compound; chopping firewood; climbing trees and hills; harvesting paddy fields; flirting; and perhaps in the loo as well.

Women supposedly living in villages deep within the country are unfailingly draped in ‘Lungis’ not ‘reddha’ that reach down to the feet and artistically arranged ‘frill’ at the waist. These are topped by expertly tailored ‘blouses’ – not ‘hattey’ – often black in colour with uplifting brassiers underneath and revealing underskirts as they mince around instead of walking normally.

Authentic village women wear no underskirt but wear an undercloth beneath the outer one. The “reddha” is worn well above the ankles as they walk daily through grass, mud, water and paddy fields.

The hair is knotted tightly into a ‘kondey’ with a few unkempt wispy strands framing the face, while their arms and necks are shone of glittering jewellery.

The pseudo village woman is at a loss as to what she should do with her hands – so she keeps meddling with her hair or undoing and re-tucking her ‘lungi’.

The absurdity of these depictions was highlighted on my discerning, very distinctly, the outlines of a panty beneath the tightly draped cloth of a wiggling bum!

In happy contrast are our male actors who are quite comfortable in whatever they are attired in – trousers, sarongs, loin cloths, and they know exactly how to use their hands ‘in natural gestures’

The only tragic sight is to see them forced into striped pyjama suits at bed-time, when even our local ‘Suddhas’ wear sarongs to sleep in !!

We also have no Ammas and Thaththas – only Daddies and Mummies. !

And where oh where has the Middle class gone? Vanished beyond the horizon.

Everybody lives in multi-storeyed mansions with fretwork balconies set amidst sprawling landscaped gardens.

Inside are curving stairways, glittering chandeliers, ornate furniture, carpets and professionaly arranged flower vases.

The women are invariably dressed as if to go out, in gorgeous sarees, glittering ornaments, with the hem and the ‘pota’ sweeping the floor and hair coiffured by a beautician, if not falling loose.

To exhibit there familiarity with the Anglo-saxon tongue a few phrases like – ‘Please’, ‘Thanks’, ‘Okay’, ‘Hi!’, ‘Bye’ – are thrown in for good measure.

When going to sleep they jump into bed fully clothed in lacy transparent negligees complete with bra and panty underneath!

Mealtimes are hilarious.

The family and guests sit around the dining table talking earnestly. After serving themselves they start mixing the food on their plates.

They continue to keep mixing as they talk, never pausing to sample even one bite. Then the head suddenly grabs a glass of water, washes his hands in the nearby bowl, stands up, pushes back the chair and strides off. The others immediately follow suit leaving their plates still untouched. Meal time is over!

Most comical are the scenes in restaurants and hotels that involve the use of cutlery, when the diners are confronted by strange utensils. It is not possible to comment further on this, as one has to actually view it to believe it – scenes straight out of a Punch and Judy show.

And the makeup! Close-ups reveal the thick layers of whitening cream plastered on wrinkled furrows; artificially blackened hair on ancient faces and fancy streaks and splashes of white hair on the youthful plucked eye-brows; artificial eye-lashes; reddened lips and cheeks even on men and beggars. The beards, the moustaches, and their wigs are in a class by themselves, and there is little doubt that Rajiva Senaratne patronised this make-up artist before his infamous appearance on TV!

Sipping tea, in both ads and dramas constitute lifting an obviously empty cup to the lips, tilting it a wee bit and immediately putting it down without even a pretence of sipping or swallowing. In one of the most recent ads the cup and the saucer were both lifted and tilted together, perhaps they were glued together – no other explanation is possible.

In contrast enormous tumblers of water are downed in one great gulp, while each gulp of liquor involves much slobbering and wiping of the mouth.

Tea is rarely served in cups or mugs to visitors, on a tray. Instead a tray tottering under the weight of tea- cups, tea-pot, milk- jug and sugar bowl are carried or trundled in on a trolley. Then the tea is poured out in formal ritual like it is done among the British aristocracy. Oh my!

Spectacles. These are worn to correct weak eye-sight the only exception being sunglasses . But in dramas donning dark glasses is an indication of villainy!

Be-spectacled actors keep taking them off when under stress. As a regular spectacle wearer from my adolescence I can assure the viewer that we take them off only for a wash, to sleep or occasionally to give a brief respite to the eyes over-tired from close work. Even as children we indulged in boisterous physical activities with them on except in the case of boys who removed them before a fight as a precaution against severe punishment from home if the spectacles were damaged!

Valuable time is wasted on time-consuming shots that follow the progress of an individual or vehicle, first around the curving drive-way, then the side-lane, followed by the main lane and main road until a turn shuts out the scene .

Unrealistic deceptions of life at every level is rampant mainly regarding the elite and dwellers exposing the total unfamiliarity of the producers and directors with life outside their own close privileged circles. As a freelance journalist who has crept into hidden places with my ‘nose to the ground’ so to speak, it repulses me to see these monstrous depictions on screen.

Drama training is a must for aspiring thespians along with proper speech. Mispronunciation and inaudibility should be corrected by a speech therapist and should also include the proper presentation of lines.

Speech plays a very important role in everyday life, not only on stage and screen, but also among public speakers, lecturers and newsreaders.

Our Sinhala newsreaders make their presentations in a sing-song intonation, rising and falling alternately, the English news is ‘elocuted’ in a bizarre dialect concocted by Sri Lankans.

Realising the vital need for a drama school at least first in Colombo, a well known talented actress once opened up her own drama school, which was dedicatedly attended even by politicians and aspiring school children. Unfortunately severe health problems called a premature halt to her work. It is our fervent hope that she resumes her abandoned project soon.

It is time our ‘celebrated’ producers and directors opened their eyes to the real world around them and climbed down from their own elevated stage to tread the raw earth with bare feet. It is only then that they can refrain from committing horrendous mistakes highlighted above.

Swallow your pride and become human – but don’t depict yourself as corpses in coffins with moving eye-balls and heaving lungs as seen by us in close ups !