The American education strategy

by Vijaya Chandrasoma

The American Education strategy is designed to attract the brightest kids from poor Third World countries into the best universities in the world, and steal the best brains from countries which need these brains most to help them in their development programs.

That is the genius of the American educational system. The Ivy Leagues have representatives in Third World countries, whose job is to identify the brightest kids in local schools, and offer them admission to one or other of the best universities in America. The offer consists of scholarship, campus work and a student loan, payable in eight years at low interest, starting six months after graduation.

All the selected students had to do was to show up at their selected colleges at the start of the educational year in October. Their living expenses and tuition fees during their four years of study are covered. This is true of all the Ivy Leagues, and many private and public universities in the country.

Many students from these developing countries, usually with varying skin colours, nations with different cultures and religious beliefs, are encouraged to pursue their higher education in the best universities in the world. The only criterion is their academic brilliance. These wonderful opportunities are also made available to American students, irrespective of skin colour, who, though not necessarily possessing of the highest educational achievements to gain admission to these universities, exhibit athletic brilliance. A third category, which could be also be deemed as reasonable, is that preference is given to students whose parents also were alumni of these universities, as long as they meet the basic academic criteria.

The fourth category is the most egregious, as was shown by the scandal and court cases brought to light recently, when rich parents bribed their way into getting their children into prestigious colleges. This scheme was investigated by the FBI, dubbed “Operating Varsity Blues”, and has unearthed admission offences going back to at least 2011, where rich parents bribed athletic coaches and admission officers. Even administrators of the SAT (Scholarship Aptitude Test) and ACT (American College Test) exam supervisors were bribed to allow other persons to take the test for selected students; in some cases, the proctors gave students the answers before the test, and then “fixed” the answers after the test. Wealthy Americans paid between $ 15,000 to $75,000 a test for participation in this fraudulent scheme.

The most famous examples of this fraud are:

(1) the admission of Donald J. Trump, whose transcripts are legally shrouded in secrecy. One of his professors at Wharton, University of Pennsylvania, William Kelley called Trump the “dumbest goddam student I ever had”. Trump, of course, has, in his narcissistic lunacy, heralded himself as graduating “at the top of his class”, at Wharton; and

(2) the admission to Harvard University of Jared Kushner, son-in-law of Donald Trump, who held some of the highest official positions in the previous administration. His father, New Jersey real estate developer, Charles Kushner, pledged a donation of $2.5 million to Harvard, in 1998, after which his son, whose SATs and academic achievements hardly deserved a place in a community college, was offered a place in that august institution.

But, as is my wont, I digress. Fraud is the American national sport, and rich people will always bribe their way out of or into any system.

This strategy, in its model, was designed to lure the brightest kids from Third World countries, and ensure that their innate talents are developed to their fullest potential. It was also designed for America to retain the services of these graduates by anchoring them in the United States for eight years after graduation till their student loans were paid. However much these kids love their motherland and yearn to return, they are able to do so only do so after settling their loans.

Eight years is a long time. These graduates find good jobs, choose their partners, make new friends, buy homes and enjoy a style of life in the richest country in the world, a style not available in their Third World homes. The anchors become roots, and the poorest nations lose their brightest brains. These kids keep on loving their country of origin and feeling nostalgia for the motherland. They visit often, but America has become their home.

The ultimate testament to the brilliance of this strategy is when a teenager from a Third World Country was given all the assistance, during the Clinton years, to grasp the wonderful educational opportunities available to any smart kid who is prepared to work hard. For these kids, whatever their colour, they may not have the birth requirements to become the President of the United States. Other than that, the sky’s the limit.

And if they are really lucky, they may excel to such an extent that they may find themselves playing the occasional round of golf with the same President Clinton, under whose educational policies they have prospered.

Digressing again, the comedian, Billy Crystal talks of an interesting round of golf he once played with the charismatic former president. After almost every shot he played, Clinton approached him to give him advice on where he had gone wrong, his stance, his grip, etc. Clinton is a very nice man, though a moderate golfer. He displayed his humility, when, in his jubilation at breaking 80 for the first time in his golfing life, he, the Leader of the Free World, announced that “it was the greatest achievement of his life”.

Clinton gave this advice with Crystal’s best interests at heart, but these constant comments annoyed the hell out of Crystal. He says that the last straw was when he was using the urinal halfway through the round, Clinton saw him and started correcting his urinating stance and grip!