Safeguard primary unit of society

BY Fr J.C. PIERIS SJ

Dr Bilesha Weeraratne said in The Island of 08/07/22: “The decision by the Cabinet to partially lift the Family Background Report (FBR) requirement for female migrants is long overdue and a welcome move to promote female labour migration from Sri Lanka.”

I am against not only the lifting of the FBR, but also against all migration of mothers and fathers with children under 17. The following incident is what prompted me to write this article. A young mother whom I knew as a kid, with two school going children, rang up and discussed their financial difficulties. Her husband had a mini truck and they lived on his income from transport and deliveries. First with the pandemic then with the oil scarcity his source of income was drying up. So, she went to work in a ‘garment factory’ close by for rather low wages. The income of her husband came to a full stop. The two young adults, husband and wife, were arguing who should go abroad to sustain the family. The girl said she will go for housemaid work. The man said; no, you look after the children, I shall go. While she was talking her voice was changing and I knew her eyes were tearing.

What I gathered from the conversation is that they are a loving family. They are undergoing the agony of breaking up, even for a few years, the beautiful unity of the family. They got married not to separate. They got married to love and respect each other till death parts them. No successful government will allow the separation of married people, or orphaning the children, even for a short while. A government that encourages and helps the separation of families for the sake of earning forex has failed. And people like Dr. Weeraratne who promote such activity have also failed.

Primary unit.

Family is the primary unit of civil society and the nation. It is the solid and reliable brick that goes into raising the edifice of human society, called a community and a nation. If that brick deteriorates and breaks up it harms the big edifice too. Therefore, it is imperative for any good government to protect the family, and give it all the necessary support to function well. But if a government facilitates and even encourages the breakup of a family, for whatever reason, it is certainly an evil and a failed government.

Marriage

The family is made up of mother, father and children. It begins at the moment of the marriage of a man and a woman when they pledge mutual love and respect till death separates them. And marriage is the most beautiful and sacred of all human institutions. So, they dress up the couple like a god and a goddess, and all the invitees dress in their best, made in the latest fashion, new beautiful dresses. All fairy tales and many real-life novels, after many setbacks and adventures, end with the happy marriage of the two protagonists with the famous legend “and they lived happily ever after”. The husband and wife are the foundation of civil society and the human community. All good governments and their legal systems protect the union of the two and never encourage their breakup and separation. But if a government actively supports a separation of husband and wife, even temporarily, it is a feeble and a failed government.

Love and respect

The roots of marriage are love and respect. That is why they say marriages are made in heaven. That is why marriage is highly valued as holy, for it has a touch of the divine. It is the only deal, agreement, pact, accord or contract in human society, where the other party gains everything unconditionally; an agreement of total self-surrender and selflessness. Utter selflessness is a divine quality, so the Bible says God is love. That’s why people look down on and despise marriages of convenience. The fact is there is no marriage there is only a deal.

Shades of love

Love has many shades in marriage, it extends from erotic physical love to Platonic unearthly love, and many different shades in between. As we are not creatures of only mind and intellect but creatures of flesh and blood as well, marriage needs the two partners to be palpably present to one another. Therefore, physical separation of husband and wife should never be allowed without a very grave reason. Economic reasons cannot be considered grave, as it is the duty of the state to keep the economy humming smoothly, without disrupting marriages. Any government that encourages husbands or wives to separate from the family and go abroad to work is a lazy and worthless government.

Children

Children are the invaluable fruit of the bliss of married love. Having become parents, the mother and the father dedicate all their lives to the care and growth of these children. It is their bounden duty to protect, nourish and educate them. It is the children’s right to have their parents with them. Especially the mother, invariably must be physically present to the children every day and every night, till they reach the age of 18.

No self-respecting good government will separate the mother from the children, and wife from the husband, and send her abroad to slave away as a housemaid just to get some foreign exchange into the country. Separating the father from the children and the husband from the wife, to send menfolk abroad for work, is as bad as exiling the mother from the family. Only a shameless anti-people government will do that. But from 1977 onwards, all the governments have been not only allowing it to happen, but have even created a ministry for it. There is so much corruption in it, from the ministers and ambassadors down to the peon in the office, which the governments sweep under the carpet not; to kill the hen that lays the golden egg. It has become legalized human trafficking.

Sri Lanka is changing

Both politically and economically Sri Lanka has reached a turning point. The present set of scoundrels in the Diyawannawa mansion must be thrown out. We need a new government that will consider its bounden duty to protect the family, and defend it from all the evils that assail its unity. As a self-respecting government of the people, by the people, for the people, it will not allow any mother or father with children of age 17 and under to leave the family and go overseas to work. Therefore, the government will have to strengthen the local economy by increasing the agricultural, fishery, plantation, mining, hospitality, industrial and IT output for local needs, and for export, with innovation, sacrifice and dedication thus reducing unemployment to zero. There will not be any need then to break up families and send people out of the country for employment.

The family structure of father, mother and children must be safeguarded at all cost. this unity is sacred. This happy togetherness of parents and children is supremely important, and no government should harm it for political or economic reasons.