PRAISE OR BLAME? OR LOOKING THE OTHER WAY

by Goolbai Gunasekara

There is a vexatious question which all Principals of school face on a daily basis. Children will always get into scrapes big ones, little ones, dangerous ones, funny ones, embarrassing ones, awkward ones, silly ones, serious ones and others too numerous to name. In the course of my days as Principal I must have dealt with every possible misdemeanor ever invented.

The question of how to correct and/or punish these junior law breakers is far more difficult than one imagines for the punishment must not only fit the crime but should also consider certain psychological factors which children of today face.

Hearken to these two examples..

At a school Sports Meet many years ago one of the older girls sneaked out and went for a drive with a boy. They were gone half an hour and were caught by sheer accident and bad luck. No Principal is unrealistic enough to imagine that this does not happen on a large scale at ALL such events. One cannot seal all entrances and exits at these grounds after all.

The `crime’ was twofold. The boy was underage and should not have been driving and the girl and boy were out without permission, to say nothing of the fact that a little forbidden romance was probably on the cards.

I was not on the grounds at the time and the chastising fell to someone who clearly did not understand children. She berated the couple in front of an entire stadium and humiliated them beyond belief. Short of accusing them of outright of sexual misconduct she all but implied it.

The girl was a brilliant student. Double promoted twice in her school career with a blameless record. Her parents were highly traditional and coupled with the publicity given to her little scoot she was vilified severely by an unsympathetic mother. The miscreants were suspended from school for a fortnight.

The boy was able to weather the storm better since his parents wisely (and correctly) accepted their son’s apology for taking the car. They also believed him when he said he had not so much as held her hand.

I did not approve of the punishment but naturally did not wish to overthrow the decision of a Senior Head. The effect on the girl was noticed gradually. The formerly outstanding student gradually lost her impetus. She graduated from school with one A, 2 Bs and a C. She had been expected to get all As. Those results, given her capabilities, were pathetic.

Why do we always imagine the worst scenario I wonder? The girl wanted to be a doctor but as the family left the country I have no way of knowing if she managed to get a place in a Medical College. With those marks I doubt it. One incident blighted a promising career. But who will take the blame?

The second incident occurred when one of the Supervisor Maids brought two quaking Senior students by the scruff of their necks into my office. She had nabbed them in the Shower Room.

“What were they doing there?” I asked the maid quietly in Sinhala

” Er — Just talking anney. Isn’t that enough?” She glared at the two youngsters.

“Well that’s not too bad is it?” I smiled at the irate one trying to diffuse her fury.

“Madam! When the talking is stopping other things are happening. Then Madam will tell me, ‘Piyaseeli why are you not checking properly.”‘

I happened to know the boy was having horrendous personal problems with his parents. His mother had gone off to the USA with her eldest and left the youngest with his father to finish his AL. The girl was a quiet, charming child who I can imagine instilled some calmness into his life which was certainly extremely volatile just then.

“Why did you need to chat in Shower Rooms?” I asked, “Because it was private Miss.”

“But why not chat in a classroom? After all school was over was it not?”

“The maids were cleaning them just then and our cars were waiting. -to take us home.”

“We had only five minutes to chat Miss.”

I studied the two in front of me. They were petrified thinking of the coming parental reaction.

They were more than contrite. There was a deep unhappiness in the boy’s face. The girl smiled at him encouragingly.

“Miss may I talk?” “Certainly.”

“We talk a lot together Miss and then we get teased by our classmates. I only try to help him with his problems at home. I cannot use the home phone. I am not allowed.”

Needless to say, her wise parents did not give her a Mobile.

Acting on my own initiative I decided not to bring it up at the next Staff Meeting.

“If I have your word you will not meet behind closed doors again I will not tell your parents this time.”

Their relief was almost palpable.

“Of course, we promise,” they vowed fervently.

I calmed Piyaseeli’s fury and assured her that predictions of a sad end for both of them would probably never materialize. Her discretion could be depended on however reluctantly it was given!

I am glad to say that both children kept that promise and now have Degrees from good Universities. I think one of them is already married happily.

My point is this. Accepted punishments do not always work. In fact leniency is often the better way to go. Principals should learn to act outside the box. It pays.