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passion for shopping strongly hits the wallet
You see it in every shopping mall: men sitting outside the clothing store waiting for the wife to come out. Why is it that women love to try on every pair of shoes before deciding whether to buy anything at all, and men want to get out of the mall seconds after they get in?
It’s all in the genes, according to Daniel Kruger, an evolutionary psychologist at the University of Michigan. Kruger argues that it’s natural for women to love to shop and men to hate it because of our evolutionary past.
Men were the hunters in our ancestral cultures, so when they find a satisfactory specimen, whether it’s an elk or a pair of shoes, they want to shoot it and get out before it gets away.Women, by contrast, were the primary gatherers in early hunter-gatherer cultures, so they feel a need to check every berry on the bush to make sure they’re getting the best deal.
Why Women Like Shopping. Why Men Hate It
“When they came back with all the purchases, it was almost like a conquest, an expedition,” he added. “They wanted to show us all the wonderful things they had found.”
The women, it seems, had gone gathering, and the men, of course, had gone hunting, culturally speaking. Surely, he thought, there must be a deeply rooted reason why girls are so different from boys, even when it comes to shopping.
Shopping is as natural and necessary as sleep. But what if “banal” shopping becomes a goal in itself? In psychology, this type of addiction is officially called shopping addiction. Everyone can become a shopaholic regardless of their financial situation – whether it is a millionaire buying another yacht, or a middle manager spending the last money in a shopping mall. In the article, we will touch upon the topic of women’s addiction to shopping, since it is believed that it is women who are more inclined to make spontaneous purchases. It is generally believed that shopping malls, “waiting” for us on every corner, rising popularity of online shopping and the abundance of attractive advertising, encouraging us to buy something, cause a passion for shopping. But psychologists believe that these are only secondary factors. The mere presence of a store nearby cannot turn a sober-minded person into a shopaholic. The problem is much deeper.
To a large extent, women’s passion for shopping is caused by psychological reasons:
Loneliness. Shopaholics try to compensate for the lack of attention and love with numerous purchases. They mistakenly think that closets full of things will close the void in the soul.
. Low self-esteem. For introverted and unconfident people, purchases become a peculiar way to prove their worth to the whole world. When buying something, often popular or branded, person feels more significant.Lack of pleasure. When making a purchase, person experiences happiness. For those who find their own life gray and bleak, shopping becomes almost the only source of joy, and buying is perceived as an event.
Depression. This reason is related to the previous one. If the purchase is a source of joy, shopping accordingly boosts spirits. When buying a thing you like adrenaline and endorphins are released into the bloodstream, which leads to feeling an emotional uplift. But over time, this way of drowning out depression can turn into a serious addiction. Each time shopaholic needs to buy more and more to be happy.
According to psychologists, one of the main prerequisites for the development of shopping addiction is a childhood full of deprivation. People whose parents saved on everything and could not afford special expenses often become shopaholics. After growing up and gaining the ability to manage money on their own, such people turn to the other extreme — begin buying everything and anything, necessary or not. This is their way of self-assertion.
What does shopaholism lead to?
When shopping becomes something vital for a woman, her ability to think intelligently and in a rational manner decreases. At the same time, the stress in the parts of the brain that control emotions and pleasant sensations increases significantly — this is where the euphoria comes from when making a purchase. But after acquiring a mess of unnecessary things, repentance and acute regret ensue. The accumulated stress requires a portion of pleasant emotions again, and woman goes to the sale once more. It is a vicious circle which is extremely difficult to break. This is the main negative consequence of addiction to shopping – an addict ceases to control themselves. For them shopping becomes a lifestyle that replaces leisure and entertainment.
If the shopaholic does not have the opportunity to make a purchase, he/she falls into a depressive state, characterized mainly by apathy — everything loses its meaning, nothing is interesting. These are manifestations of withdrawal syndrome. That’s why shopaholism can be compared to other types of addictions.
Passion for shopping strongly hits the wallet. Shopaholics do not think about how to live until the next salary, they are ready to spend the last to buy the desired thing, even if its price is unreasonably high. Often they take loans and, in neglected cases — fall under unmanageable debt load.
Sooner or later, a shopaholic starts having conflicts with loved ones due to irrational spending. He/she begins to lie about the money spent and purchases made, can hide them, and sometimes becomes completely self-isolated. It’s hard to live with a person who has lost control of themselves. Often addicts are left alone with their problem because loved ones have not been able to help them.
How to get rid of the habit of buying unnecessary things: a 5-step plan
One-time or periodic “raids” several times a year to your favourite stores are not a cause for alarm. You should start worrying when shopping becomes a part of the value system, pushing out other important aspects. Obsessive desire to buy something, the constant search for reasons to go to the store, buying completely unnecessary things, inappropriate spending, cabinets in the house clogged with junk – these are serious reasons to think about whether a person suffers from addiction.
What should you do if a woman buys things and all kinds of trinkets all the time? Psychologists give the following recommendations:
Find the cause of addiction
First of all, you need to find the “trigger” that demands constant shopping. Try to analyze what motivates a person, what emotions they experience during shopping. Is it boredom, a compensation reaction, an attempt to get out of depression or improve mood, or maybe a way of self-assertion?
Learn to make smart purchases.
You will have to take a fresh look at the “style” of shopping. An “experienced” shopaholic will have a hard time, but it’s extremely important to change their habits.The rules of deliberate shopping are simple, but shopaholic will really break them: you can go to the store only with a list, take a small amount of money with you and ignore stocks and sales.
Get support from a loved one
For a shopaholic who got on the road of fixing things it will be extremely difficult to control his/her desires at first. Therefore, help, support and understanding of loved ones are vital. It’s important not to slap shopaholic on the wrists, but to carefully control behaviour and budget, to switch their attention from purchases to other things. An addicted person should abandon shopping trips altogether for a period of time. [4]
Find an alternative to shopping
Fighting shopaholism will be easier if you find an alternative to it — an activity that will cause positive emotions. It can be anything — hobbies, sports sections or going dancing.
Cause of addiction
First of all, you need to find the “trigger” that demands constant shopping. Try to analyze what motivates a person, what emotions they experience during shopping. Is it boredom, a compensation reaction, an attempt to get out of depression or improve mood, or maybe a way of self-assertion?
Learn to make smart purchases.
You will have to take a fresh look at the “style” of shopping. An “experienced” shopaholic will have a hard time, but it’s extremely important to change their habits.
The rules of deliberate shopping are simple, but shopaholic will really break them: you can go to the store only with a list, take a small amount of money with you and ignore stocks and sales.
Get support from a loved one
For a shopaholic who got on the road of fixing things it will be extremely difficult to control his/her desires at first. Therefore, help, support and understanding of loved ones are vital. It’s important not to slap shopaholic on the wrists, but to carefully control behavior and budget, to switch their attention from purchases to other things. An addicted person should abandon shopping trips altogether for a period of time.