Features
Illustrious Dahanayake brothers
S. H. Dahanayake was the leader of the common masses of Galle in the mid-1920s. He fought against the Establishment and the British Raj, letting loose a wave of national consciousness and pride among the people of Galle. Our elders still talk of him with affection and respect.
One day he was summoned to give evidence in a certain case, and in the course of cross-examination, the counsel for the other side, bet on belittling him, asked with a sneer, “Isn’t it a fact that your father left you only 25 cents?”
As this had nothing to do with his evidence, he turned to the Judge and asked, “M’Lord, must I answer that question?”
“Yes, I’m afraid you must,” said the Judge.
The witness then turned to the lawyer, and in a voice that carried to every corner of the Court asked, “Isn’t it a fact that with twenty-five cents, your father was carrying a pingo round the streets of Galle?”
Dr. Dahanayake rode into politics on the immaculate reputation of this illustrious brother, though he proved his own mettle later.
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She was a young women who filed a divorce case. The judge said “Your husband charges that you deceived him.”
“On the contrary, your Honour, he is the one who deceived me. He one day said that he was going outstations on business and he didn’t.”
***
“A defence counsel attacked the evidence of a doctor, seeking to trip the witness up. But calm and collected, imperturbably giving straight answers to the lawyer’s questions.
Finally the lawyer sneered, “Alright, doctor, you may leave the witness-box. You are a very clever man.”
To which the doctor coolly replied, “I wish I could say the same about you sir, but unfortunately I have taken an oath here to speak the truth!”
***
One day, when our Southern Malaprop, a very distinguished lawyer gone to his eternal rest, was on his feet, addressing the Magistrate, when some of his lawyer colleagues seated at the Bar Table, began hissing: “B F! B.F!”
At this the lawyer complained that his colleagues were calling him “Bloody Fool”.
When the Magistrate looked inquiringly at the Bar Table, one of the lawyers got up and said: “Sir, our learned friend is mistaken. B.F. stands for the very flattering term “Born Fighter!”
***
This self-same lawyer was fabulously rich, but led a plain and simple life. One day, a senior lawyer, much older than our hero, suggested, jokingly, that the younger man leave him one lakh in his will. At this, the junior lawyer flew into a rage and yelled: “I don’t mind leaving you the damn money, but you are a hell of a vicious fellow to assume that I am going to die before you!”
(BF could also stand for “Bosom Friend).”
***
Felix Reginald Dias (F.R.) was the grandfather of the late Minister Felix Dias Bandaranaike. He named his son (Minister Felix’s father) Reginald Felix Dias (R.F.) switching his own two names.
One day the budding Supreme Court Judge (One of the most famous we have had, had asked his father “Daddy! Why did you name me R.F. and not F.R. like you?”
The old F.R. had gazed coldly at his son and said,” Thank your lucky stars that I didn’t name you BF.”
***
This was a case which came up before Justice R.F. Dias, where a man had been charged for the murder of his mother-in-law.
Making his submissions, the Crown Counsel said that on the facts and on the law, the jury had no alternative than returning a verdict of murder.
“Mr. Crown Counsel! I have had two mothers-in-law and I ought to know that no man who kills his mother-in-law can be guilty of murder!”
With this expression of the judge, based on his personal experience, the Crown Counsel expected the plea of guilty to the lesser offence tendered by the accused.
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There was a famous divorce case in the 1940s where the husband charged his wife with adultery with a certain doctor.
The case was heard in Justice R.F. Dias’ court, and one of the witnesses was a female employee, of the doctor. A letter this girl had written to a friend was one of the productions in the case, and the girl was asked to read the letter aloud in court. When she had finished, counsel for the aggrieved husband cross-examined her.
“One sentence in your letter says that my client’s wife “is the special preserve of Doctor X.” Tell me, what do you mean by “special preserve?”
The girl blushed and wriggled with embarassment.
“Once again, witness, I ask you, what is a special preserve?’ repeated counsel.
“Once again witness, I ask you, what is a special preserve?” repeated counsel.
As the girl once again blushed and wriggled, Justice Dias cut in an said, “A special preserve is that part of a forest reserved for one particular person to shoot!”
***
It was a rape case which came up before Justice R. F. Dias. The Crown Counsel said that the offence had been committed on the woman when she returned to her village for the Sinhala New Year, from Colombo where she was a domestic aide in a household.
The Counsel added that according to the medical report she was a “virgo intacta” when the offence was committed.
At that stage Justice Dias intervened and said “Working in a Colombo household and a virgo intacta”? Then this woman is a ‘RRA AVIS’ (rare bird).
***
This happened during the Second World War. A surveyors’ camp was located close to a rice producing area. The food problem was getting more and more acute as the unauthorised transport of rice was banned.
The labourers were inveterate rice eaters. So one Saturday morning they bought a bullock cart full of rice from the village and were happily transporting their stock to their camp when they were copped.
They were taken to the police station and released on police bail and were warned to be in the Magistrate’s Court on Monday morning.
They retained a senior lawyer of the local bar. After having the facts of the case, he advised the labourers to plead guilty, when the case came up on Monday.
On Monday they found that the permanent magistrate was on leave and that their lawyer was acting for him. He had instructed one of his juniors to appear for the labourers at the trial.
And, when the case was called the labourers pleaded guilty, as instructed. The Inspector of Police related the facts of the case and stressed the need for heavy and detterrent punishment.
The lawyer appearing for the labourers pleading in mitigation explained that the accused were government workers on urgent food production work and they were taking the rice for their own consumption and not for any trading purposes.
The acting magistrate then fined then Rs. 20.00. All those present including the inspector were completely floored. The inspector then asked “What about the rice sir? “Return the rice” the magistrate said.
The court then adjourned for lunch. Soon after, the labourers went to the production room to collect their rice, when the acting magistrate appeared on the scene and told the labourers “Hey! Keep 20 measures for me!”
It was practical justice.