Dr Asoka Wijeyakoon, a tribute to a friend

Asoka had his education at Royal College Colombo and entered the Faculty of Medicine, University of Ceylon in 1962. Since the days at school he had answered to the sobriquet “Lubber” which continued all through medical school and beyond.

The Mens’ Common room was a very special place for us medical students. It was our own retreat and shelter from the storms of Faculty life. I have often watched him deep in thought over a game of chess. He joined in the conversations with his endless stream of wise-cracks. Listening to the repartee between Chanaka Wijesekera, Sunil de Silva and Lubber Wijeyakoon was spontaneous comedy at its best.

It moved from the ridiculous to the farcical. The ‘one liners’ were brilliantly intelligent and hilarious. There were indeed touches of genius that took the noble art of comedy to a whole new level. I wish we had smartphones to record those treasures for posterity. Their quick wit and humour must swirl in the ether of that common room. Asoka never missed a chance to enjoy life joining in all the fun in the Faculty from the infamous Law-Medical match to the Final Year Trip.

The Faculty years passed swiftly. After the ‘finals’ we were thrust into the lion’s den of the wider world. Then marriage and careers usurped our lives. None of it was easy!!

When I was a Medical Officer of that institution in the early 1970’s I was thrilled to see that familiar swagger entering the Central Blood Bank in Colombo. We clicked instantly. I was then a drifter at a loose end and was grateful for his company. In those heady days of idealism, ambition and youthful optimism I do recall our evenings at some of the popular bars discussing philosophy, politics and religion.

There were occasions I joined Asoka for company in his blood donation programs in the out-stations. One that stands out is a trip to Galgamuwa on the road to Anuradhapura. We stayed at the DMO’s quarters as he was away. Emptying his fridge of the amber nectar we chatted deep into the night. Then again, we spent a memorable evening in the verandah of the Nikeweratiya Rest House discussing our ambitions and aspirations and the bizarre world of politics. These images still haunt me.

I recall the dark days of 1960’s and 70’s with sadness. Sri Lankan politics was in turmoil. The economy was in a perilous state. Our lives and careers were at a standstill. I remember it so well. We debated endlessly the pros and cons of leaving Sri Lanka. We couldn’t see an end to the political and economic crisis that crippled our country. They were emotionally charged discussions that left us in a wilderness of confusion. After much deliberation we joined the rest of the herd for greener pastures abroad. Although we agonised about it, we never realised the enormity of that decision. Our youthful exuberance protected us from the fear of reality.

I was immensely fortunate to have Asoka to travel with me to the UK. We boarded the Swissair DC10 and comforted each other until our transit at Zurich. We were dying for a beer. Money was in short supply and we had to syndicate to share a bottle to calm our nerves. After a change of plane, we disembarked at Heathrow airport. I can still remember that cold and wet June afternoon in 1974. There on the concourse of the airport we said our goodbyes and parted company.

Asoka disappeared into a Psychiatric Hospital in the heart of Sussex. I started my journey in Pathology in Greater London. We kept in touch and met up a few times. Each time we listened to our favourite Sinhala music of Victor Ratnayake which brought back fond memories of our final few years in Colombo.

To be frank it was a tough time for us in the UK too. As we drowned in our careers and family obligations there was hardly any time to keep up with friends. There were long periods of silence and we never met on our journey up the professional ladder. Asoka became a respected Consultant Psychiatrist in a London Hospital.

It was a couple of decades later I met Asoka again this time in his pad in London when he cooked a meal for me and my family. We talked a lot about times past, of mutual friends and the pleasures and perils of life. After we parted our contact remained an occasional phone call, out of the blue, and a warm query on how life treated us. It was a shock to our system when our children left the nest. He is rightly proud of his two sons who are Consultants in the National Health Service.

The years rolled by as retirement loomed. Our careers ended as it started with uncertainty and some trepidation. Asoka left the UK and I heard through the grapevine that he was living it up in Bangkok and spending his retirement in ‘well earned’ luxury. No doubt it’s everyone dream to be happy. I thought I had lost contact completely until one day, on a whim, I used an old phone number and sent him a message on WhatsApp. A few days passed and to my surprise I got a reply. His messages as always were brief.

I booked a family holiday in Bangkok. Asoka was then spending time in Colombo and Bangkok. He made a special effort to be in Bangkok during my visit. We felt it would be best to meet at my hotel. It was such a pleasure to see him again, a little more grey and more rotund than I knew. He decided to stay the night at my hotel in the best top floor room.

We caught up with the lost years of friends, family and our life’s journey. Asoka is tremendous company with or without a drink and has retained many of his formidable intellectual gifts. While chatting his wit and humour took over. Asoka had a certain empathy for the less fortunate and the downtrodden. He rewarded the waiters and waitresses most generously. We parted company not knowing if we would ever meet again.

After several months I was pleasantly surprised to hear from him in London. He was staying in a hotel near Moorgate where we decided to meet. It was wonderful to see him again. Lubber is as always upbeat about life but very aware of the ironies, mirages and illusions that we all must face. Now more than ever life’s oases and their many pleasures drift past us far too quickly. We spoke for just a couple of hours as he had to take a taxi to Heathrow Airport for his return to Colombo.

When I look back the memories of 50+ years, Asoka was a kind and a sociable friend and a unique human being. This is not an attempt to deify him. He too had the same faults we all possess. As in his youth Asoka was extraordinarily frank, feared no one and retained an aura of gravitas from his ‘consultant’ days. He had the remarkable ability to bring to any discussion a huge degree of intelligence derived from lateral thinking. I am ever grateful we were able to walk together on our long journey of life.

Asoka passed away peacefully in London, on December 22, 2023.It was, and will always remain, one of the great privileges of my life to have known him.May he find Eternal Peace.

Dr Nihal D Amerasekera