CHILD RARITIES (part two)

by Goolbai Gunasekera

In his often-quoted poem ‘Intimations of Immortality” Wordsworth wrote “Trailing clouds of glory do we come…..” giving rise to a discussion among poetic analysts as to whether some of the L late poets could have believed in rebirth.

This column is not intended to be a forum for religious debate, but I use this famous quotation as a starting point of my analysis of children who enter the Kindergarten classes displaying a certain dreaminess and a non-competitive attitude from the start of their school career. Indeed …. seemingly trailing those clouds of glory.

Childhood experts like Madame Montessori, Froebel and Rudolf Steiner (of the Waldorf Schools) anticipated modern psychology which accepts that the child who does not conform to accepted patterns from the beginning is not backward at all.

Unfortunately education, until now, had rather rigid frameworks. The systems of grading, giving marks, giving positions, giving written reports based on those marks and giving Class Promotions annually are now regarded as being extremely self-defeatist, A child cannot be assessed so early in the day. (Our egregious Grade Five exam being a case in point)

Those ‘Clouds of Glory’ Wordsworth wrote about may still surround a child for the first years of his life and it is now believed such a child finds it hard to adjust to the company of too many children. Too much guided play and a regulated Time Table are anathema to such children. It assails their nerves and they withdraw into themselves. Noise can upset them. Rough play actually hurts them. What many teachers regard as ‘normal’ can be totally upsetting to these children who are unusually sensitive and introverted but not autistic.

Until recently the world judged such con-conformist children to be academically backward because those Mark Sheets, Class Positions and ubiquitous Reports gave parents the idea that their child was just not keeping up with other children. It did not occur to either parent or teacher that the child was what is now recognized as being ‘different’ in a manner which had nothing to do with academics or classroom behaviour.

In fact, affluent countries try to have special schools and special systems for such children who may be as achieving as their peers but study under methods more conducive to their personalities. Unfortunately we do not have the luxury of such schools in Sri Lanka, but all trained Kindergarten teachers now try to give the ‘dreamy’ children in their classes that little extra understanding that makes the difference.

Many of these children are late developers. Their needs are ambiguous because they are too young to know what they want. Furthermore many such youngsters are highly imaginative and children under the age five or six often cannot distinguish fact from fiction.

One child hated to leave home to ‘spend the day’ with a friend. Her mother insisted on her doing this in the hope it would make the child more outgoing.

“She will enjoy the company won’t she?” her mother asked me.

“What does SHE say?

“If I listened to her she would be quite happy playing by herself.”

“What does she play?”

“She has tea with her dolls and dresses them up.”

Since the little girl was seven her mother was seriously unhappy by this lonely (to her) pastime of her little daughter.

Another case was that of a child who talked to herself and according to her mother preferred doing this to being with others.

“Many children talk to imaginary playmates,” I told her. “I did so myself. “

“So what is there to talk about?” `Is she an only child?”

“Goodness no. She is the third and the other two are quite normal.”

There it was again. Normalcy! What exactly is ‘normal’ for one child is not ‘normal’ for the other. The little girl was six.

“Does she need a psychiatrist?” “Hardly.”

At the mother’s request I chatted to her. Her one-way talks were not a secret.

“So Tara, what do you and your friends talk about?” I asked her.

“They’re tiny people.”

“Fairies you mean?”

“They have no wings. But they tell me what they play.” “What do they play?”

“A numbers game that I can join.”

This little girl is now married with children of her own. Her own Degree in Psychology helps her understand dreamy children A warning! Refrain from accusing your very young offspring of lying. Parents are not always attuned to the airy fairy climate their child temporarily inhabits. If kids ARE lying let them feel guilty. They will.

“I didn’t throw ink on the sheets,” I told my Psychologist/ Principal mother self-righteously. “The Bungalow Baba (my imaginary playmate) did it.”

“Just make sure she never does it again,” my understanding mother replied.

To this day I am remorseful. I was old enough to know I was hiding behind an old excuse. It was my last attempt to recapture the identity of an ex-playmate.