Birth centenary of National YWCA legend

Fidelia de Silva born April 10, 1921

Fidelia de Silva nee De Alwis was the eldest in our family of 11 born to Felix. David. Lionel De Alwis and Hilda De Alwis on April 10, 1921.

She was the formidable spirit in our family. She schooled at Methodist College Colombo and passed the senior matriculation with hopes of qualifying as an academic. However, in the social climate of that time our father had other plans for her and she went along wit them without question, knowing he wanted what was best for her.

I recall with nostalgia the period she was engaged to the late Captain Joseph Jayawardana. His visits were frequent with her playing the piano and singing along with him. The sound of music and laughter would fill every corner of our house at Walukarama Road, Kollupitiya. My memories of them both with smiles on their faces singing with gusto the popular songs of the time remain. Their emotional renditions of “Please don’t take my sunshine away” and “Brown eyes” was true love in flight to me.

When she married Joseph I was the page boy, Marie Wickramanayake and Doreen Edrisinghe were the flower girls whilst Manel jayasundara and Marie de Alwis were her bride’s maids. Their life together had just begun. However what should have been a full and happy life was not to be with her husband falling ill within with a lung infection within three months of their marriage. He unfortunately died of a medical misadventure while undergoing surgery.

She was then with child and a beautiful daughter was born on December 20, 1944 coinciding with my younger sisters Sriani’s first birthday. Her daughter, Hemakanthi, was highly intelligent. Fidelia went to live with our brother, Denzil, who was a planter at Pelmadulla but he too passed away after a brief illness having contacted typhoid.

She then moved back to our ancestral home in our village, Kalahe at Rockhill Estate with Hemakanthi who started schooling at Southlands College where Miss. Ridge, an Englishwoman was principal and excelled in her studies. She was briefly boarded as her mother felt she could concentrate on her studies better in that environment rather than traveling to school from our village in a buggy cart. Hemakanthi was always first in her class and was an avid reader who read whatever she could lay her hands on includng Shakespeare. But at 12-years she was flown to India diagnosed with cancer in the spinal cord affecting her eyesight and speech. She lingered for over an year at our home in Kalahe and passed away.

Fidelia, devastated by these blows and buried herself in voluntary work with the YWCA in Colombo to overcome her grief, surviving on her widow’s pension. It was then that she met her future mother-in law who approached her with a proposal to meet her son, Douglas, living a carefree life with no encumbrances. Given her past she was first reluctant but the stars were aligned, and they eventually married with Fidelia becoming Mrs Douglas de Silva. They were a happy couple, subsequently blessed with two sons , Dilhan and Harin.

DEDICATION AND COMMITMENT TO THE NATIONAL YWCA

With lessons of the past including the many blessings God had bestowed on her, she dedicated her life to serve the Lord and served the National YWCA at Rotunda Gardens with great enthusiasm and courage. That was the beginning of a lifelong journey of helping the poor and needy. Her efforts to develop the YWCA, working with donor nations like the Netherlands during her tenure, created opportunities for hostelers and guests and the opening of a restaurant open to the public. She also worked hard to build additional revenue streams for the YWCA enabling expansion of its buildings to accommodate and facilitate the needs of functions and seminars.

Her work at the National YWCA honed her leadership abilities and more avenues opened with her organizational, business and executive skills coming to the fore. She retained the virtues of a lady and was a guardian of the organization she worked for.

BUILDING A FUTURE FOR

DESTITUTE YOUTH

Soon after the Tsunami in 2004 she realized that there, were several orphans needing accommodation, schooling and caring. Along with Ms Roheen Jayawardane who had worked with her in the National YWCA, she created an organization to raise funds to serve destitute youth needing immediate relief. Initially they had rented some premises and decided to venture on an organized project with big plans not realizing the challenges with not much finances in hand. But she had great support from her family.

It was their plan that two orphanages, one for girls and the other for boys, be built on land available in Piliyandala. Accordingly two orphanages were bult. She had faith in God and prospective donors here and abroad. All she reached out to helped and the task was accomplished. She was woman of strong will and none among her family and friends here and abroad, including her husband, Douglas, wanted to disappoint her.

The children from the orphanages were present at her funeral, singing her praises in voice and song. She was a legend in a world in turmoil and helplessness and did all she could to alleviate suffering by bringing Christ’s love to others as she did for many destitute children.

FINAL DAYS BEFORE HER

DEPARTURE

During my frequent visits to her she expressed her sadness at the death of those in the family younger to her – Chandra, Viola, and Elmo. Her passion to help the poor and the needy continued despite her inability to walk on her own.

After the death of her husband, she continued to live at Bagatalle Road in a home provided by her late husband, Douggie, with the best of facilities, under the supervision of her sons Dilhan and Harindra. Fidelia had her sad moments too. While she lived comfortably at Bagatalle Road, she lost her wedding ring and another ring which she wore. When the loss was discovered by my cousin’s wife Gracie ( her carer ) one morning, she remembered she had struggled in bed the previous night when she was with the domestics and the nurse. She was sad but told me that she had nothing more to lose and to forget about it.

Such were her forgiving ways and believing discretion was the better part of valour, Dilhan and I decided not to pursue the matter with the police. This incident together with the deterioration of her medical condition resulted in her sons deciding that she would be best off in an apartment at Nawaloka Hospital equipped to accommodate elderly people like her. Though reluctant at first she appeared to like the place as there were several of her acquaintances with whom she could interact there. She was quite content inviting her friends and relations to this apartment ensuring she had company . She was constantly visited by her cousins, friends from the National YWCA and others who cared for her.

Our nephew Rathika De Silva and I made sure we visited her regularly to ensure she did not feel neglected. So did her son Dilhan. She was fortunate in having regular communion given to her by Methodist priests and prayers offered to her by Rev. Dilip Fernando and Rev Jabenazer coordinated by her carer Gracie.

Whenever my wife Damayanthi and I visited her, she offered a prayer of thanksgiving for the whole family. During my constant visits she discussed the family tree and recalled our days at “Rockhill,” Kalahe, our ancestral home. She always said whatever happens we must learn to give thanks for what we are today moving from the hard times sans, electricity, water service, telephone and radio. Hence let us cultivate a spirit of thanksgiving in our lives and thank God for every blessing he has given even when things go wrong.

I was fortunate to have her visit my home for a family lunch on Dec. 26, 2018. She enjoyed the lunch and offered a very fervent prayer. A few days later on Dec. 31 I visited her around 10.00 am, and offered a prayer but found her response poor. I left reluctantly having informed her carer, Gracie, that her condition appeared low. It was on Jan. 3 when I was away in Australia visiting my granddaughter that I learnt of her demise. She learned to live each day as if it was her last, expecting that day to come soon.

It was Sir Walter Scott who asked “Is death the last sleep?” and answered, “no it is the final awakening.” That is true for every believer of Christ. Even when grief overwhelms us or when confusion assails us, we can still trust God’s all knowing love! .

Nihal De Alwis

(140/5 GEMUNU MAWATHA, NAWALA ROAD, NUGEGODA