ASTROLOGY ANYONE?

(Excerpted from Life is a frolic by Goolbai Gunasekara)

“The fault dear Brutus, is not in our stars but in ourselves,” said Caesar – or rather said Shakespeare in the tragedy Julius Caesar. Those of my generation quoted him when trying to explain why the most recent prediction of the family soothsayer had gone totally wonky. Julius Caesar had been the O Level literature text for many years so at least two generations of Sri Lankans, including my Dearly Beloved, could quote from the play at family gatherings giving admiring parents and their friends the completely erroneous impression of being well versed in the Classics.

Yet, Shakespeare did not really influence some parents who consulted astrologers on a weekly basis. Doing so was problematic. There were no mobiles when my friends and I were at school to give astrological believers the instant hot-line to the all-knowing one, and the astrologer himself probably had nothing so modern in his house as even a land phone. Ergo, one made the visit, personally, to distant areas that often took up to two hours in the family car. Very few of these star gazers lived in convenient urban settings.

My own parents were ambivalent about veracity but even his Yale education could not quite take childhood faiths away from my father. We all had horoscopes done by (he claimed) India’s finest predictor. When my rambunctious sister was being particularly rambunctious, he would say angrily, “Even your horoscope says you would be a thoroughly annoying child.” Su tossed her pretty head and carried on as usual.

He would turn to me and say a trifle accusingly, “YOUR horoscope says you will marry twice!” I was enchanted. Obviously, a life of excitement and thrills lay before me in the romance department. Alas, not so. I am to celebrate my 64th anniversary shortly and I wish my sire was alive so that I could tell him that I feel quite cheated.

My ambassador father-in-law was a distinguished figure and a mightily popular one on the diplomatic circles of the UK, France and Australia, not only for his Bridge playing expertise but also for the completely false image he cheerfully projected of being a great palm reader. He knew the astrological blurb. Holding the hand of the beautiful Finnish ambassador’s wife, the following conversation would take place – overheard by my mother-in-law who wore a bland expression and wondered why it was so easy to weave an aura of the mystic East round gullible Westerners.

“You have had many, many men who wanted to marry you.”

“Hm, hm. A few perhaps,” came the coy reply from the beautiful blonde Finn.

“You love art and music. You could have made a career of it.”

“Oh Excellency, you are so brilliant. I wanted to be a concert pianist. How did you know?”

Her husband had mentioned his wife’s talent in passing.

“Your palm tells all,” continued my father-in-law guile-fully. “In fact, (thoughtful pause with wrinkled brow) you have had a great problem recently, but you solved it so well that everyone is happy.”

The lady was speechless with delight.

“Your husband should charge for his psychic ability,” she said to my mother-in-law making sure there was queue at HER next dinner party to be guided by the great psychic who was more than willing to oblige.

His amused family tackled him later.

“So what?” he would say. “Ask anyone the same questions and make the same predictions. Vary the language. They suit all and sundry. Clever psychology is all that is needed. The Finnish lady IS a stunner. She MUST have had lots of smitten young men after her.”

“To say nothing of the ones nowadays,” retorted my mother-in-law sardonically.

Does failure of a prediction deter the consulting public of Sri Lanka? Not at all. Astrologers still flourish. Parents of Asian International School are not above telling me, their disbelieving Principal, why their pride and joy has gained such abysmal grades at the latest Promotion Tests.

“Aiyo, my son’s time is so bad I knew he would fail to get pass marks,” says his tearful mother trying to get him passed to the higher class along with his friends.

“Our astrologer told us his LIFE was in danger.” “From studying?”

“Of course not. From swimming, from traffic and all that sort of thing.”

She believes this too.

“A little study would have helped. Did he study at all?” “Of course. Day and night.”

My snort of disbelief passes over their heads.

Governments have fallen thanks to false predictions, but does that teach anyone a lesson? It does not. We all have a touching faith in the superiority of the family astrologer who by sheer luck has been, perhaps; 50% right through the years.

Well, our emotions and feelings all need bolstering at times and maybe astrologers give us a harmless prop in facing an overwhelming world. They hurt no one. To return to Shakespeare, the fault lies in our gullibility.

(This article is excerpted from Goolbai Gunasekara’s recently published book available at leading booksellers)