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Are We Sacrificing Femininity at the Altar of Feminism?

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Vijaya Chandrasoma

The principle that that regulates the existing social relations between the two sexes – the legal subordination of one sex to another – is wrong itself, and is now one of the chief obstacles to human improvement”. John Stuart Mill (1869)

I was encouraged by these words of John Stuart Mill to write about the slight but ongoing improvement of the lot of the female sex, whose centuries-long subordination is at last showing some, perhaps minimal, progress towards equality. Progress that has been a long time in the coming, and prevails mainly in the more developed and socially enlightened nations.

There is still a long way to go, especially in the less developed countries, where men use outside factors, mainly religion and tradition, to keep women firmly in their place and under their yoke. Absolute power maintained through enactment of religious laws and barbaric punishments which enable men to have control over education, virginity and extra marital sex, reproductive freedom, dress, marriage and aspirations of women, even permission to play sports or drive motor vehicles.

Of course, total quality between the sexes will never be literally possible. However, both men and women would be well-advised to creatively use the unique and God or evolution given weapons – the physical strength of men, and the feminine beauty and wiles of women, a far more lethal force – to reach the kind of equality and harmony acceptable to both sexes.

Having lived in the USA for a couple of decades, I keep closely in touch with the frequent societal and political changes in a nation that still seems confused on matters of sexual and racial equality. Recently, the Christian right-wing US Supreme Court ruled on restrictions on the rights of women’s reproductive freedom. They are following up with more radical right-wing, “Christian” decisions restricting the liberties of the LGBTQ community and abolishing the educational rights, through Affirmative Action, of minority, especially African American, students. Today’s white supremacist Republican Party, backed by a corrupt Supreme Court, which President Biden politely described as “not normal”, will, if given free rein, take the nation back to the Christian white-dominated environment of the 1950s.

In many other areas, however, women, through the Me Too Feminism movement in the USA, and other nations of European origin, have made significant progress in achieving some equality of income and social justice. My concern is that while achieving such near-equality, they may be denying themselves many of the courtesies and privileges naturally due to them because of their femininity.

Deprived by illness of indulging in those activities that make life worth living, I am now faced with the arduous task of productively filling the void of 24 hours of an excruciatingly long and lonely day. A day in which the highlights are medications, meager and monotonous meals and oxygen masks. Reading and attempts at writing help, but failing eyesight restricts the former and paucity of creative talent the latter.

I try to hasten my recovery and fill my day by resorting to mild exercise. During regular visits to the gym, I strive to revive my ancient muscles with 30 minutes on the exercise bike, a tedious diversion made tolerable by reading. My favorite go to book during these endeavors is re-reading extracts of a narrative written by my father about his childhood, during the ages of five and eight years, at his grandparents’ house in a little village in the south of Sri Lanka.

The other day, I was reading a chapter describing the relationships which existed between men and women in the early 20th century in rural Ceylon. A superficial examination of these relationships may seem, like John Stuart Mill said in his essay on The Subjection of Women, “The relation between husband and wife is very like that between lord and vassal, except that the wife is held to more unlimited obedience than the vassal was”. But when you look deeply at the bond between my fathers’ grandparents, the illusion of such an unequal and dominant relationship is so far removed from reality, it couldn’t be further away from the truth.

My father’s narrative was of a typical marriage in the rural south that his grandparents enjoyed for over 60 years, a relationship steeped in reality and respect. A bond that did not sacrifice the softness of femininity at the altar of equality, that was already implicit. A marriage that did not evolve around that ephemeral ingredient of love, a sine qua non in modern marriages.

I am not for a moment saying that an “arranged marriage” is preferable to what is now quaintly known as a “love marriage”. Just that the former is arranged between partners of similar ethnicity, creed, social and financial status, and physical compatibility (unlike in the very bad old days, the prospective partners are given the opportunity of meeting each other before the knot is tied); while the latter is based, initially, anyway, on physical attraction and desire, “love (lust?) at first sight”, if you will.

Either way, the process of selection of a partner is a crap shoot. The few couples who hit the jackpot of a successful relationship, whether arranged or love, experience all the ecstasies of a marriage made in heaven. The kind predicted by every astrologer consulted by parents before the marriage of their children is contracted. I have a few friends who live in the joy of such marriages, and their happiness drive me to sullen envy, while I pretend to delight in their good fortune.

My guess is that the percentages of successful and happy marriages, arranged or love, run at around 10%, while the unhappy or intolerable ones, the ones which are kept going in resentment for various reasons, usually “for the sake of the children”, constitute the majority.

The institution of marriage, which has served society well for centuries, seems to have run its course, and may be replaced before long by a system where men and women find delight in each other without legal or traditional restrictions. Same-sex marriage, which seems to be gaining legal currency in the west, may well be the harbinger of future fundamental changes in age-old marital values and traditions.

But, for an appreciation of those age-old values, I would encourage you to read extracts from my father’s book on this subject, copied below. His narrative of his grandparents’ marriage in the early 20th century, describes a relationship of mutual respect and acceptance of the duties of each partner, without “unrealistic and superhuman demands on each other’s capacities”.

I am taking the risk, by copying these extracts, of publicly exposing my scant abilities at writing compared to the prose of my father, whose knowledge of, and expression in, the English language, was impeccable.

“Unlike today, when you see so many husbands squirming before their wives, in those days, conjugal relationships were conducted along well-defined lines. This made for much less confusion and for greater marital satisfaction and happiness.

“Neither my grandfather nor my grandmother went to the sort of school we know, They knew no English and less Latin. They happily avoided the sense of inferiority imparted to children of our generation in our hybrid schools. My grandfather studied at the feet of one of the most renowned scholar monks of the southern province and acquired wisdom of an order rarely seen today. His knowledge of the world was incisive and his grasp of the practical philosophy of Buddhism, which was his steadfast way of life, comprehensive. My grandmother had no formal schooling and married my grandfather when she was fourteen. Her understanding of men and matters, which she absorbed from my grandfather, made her in her own right a highly educated and intelligent woman.

“When my grandparents came to know each other, there was naturally no talk of love, for they had not encountered this description of a normal and uncomplicated relationship between male and female. They did know and accept the duties and responsibilities of each partner to a contract of marriage. When they were married, they discharged these with mutual respect, affection, consideration and sometimes with enthusiasm. They had their share of problems, difficulties and disappointments. None of these stemmed from unrealistic and superhuman demands on each other’s capacities.

“As with all married couples, my grandparents had their differences of opinion. But like reasonable human beings, each expounded a point of view without heat or rancour; then they resolved their differences to their mutual satisfaction, thereby also increasing the area of understanding of each other. I can remember one serious conflict of opinion and the manner of its resolution.

My grandmother had a hobby. Her hobby, the seasoning of areca (arecanuts, known for their bitter and tangy taste, raw, dried or seasoned, are routinely used for chewing, with leaves of betel and tobacco), was meant to provide her with pin money. A few arecanut trees in the back garden gave her the idea of growing these on a minor commercial scale. Where before she had to cope with perhaps a hundred pounds of areca per month, she now had to cope with a thousand. To get the best price for the areca, one has to soak it in stagnant water, so that the nut emanates that distinctive aroma that is the ecstasy of the aficionado. To do this created problems.

One can soak a hundred pounds of areca a month in a number of fair-sized buckets. But one thousand? My grandmother soon decided what she wanted: an eight-foot long, four foot wide, three foot tall cement tank, built against the side wall of the kitchen.

My grandmother waited for the propitious moment and selected it with care, which was after a good day at the store and a satisfactory dinner (and going by subsequent stories in my father’s book, a few sips of French brandy he used to bring from his trips to Colombo). After a suitable lapse of time, my grandfather inquired what she wanted. She detailed her hopes and plans for the areca business and waxed enthusiastic over the proposal to build a tank. My grandfather gave his characteristic grunt that due notice of her request had been taken.

My grandfather was no mean carpenter. By evening, he had arrived at what we now call an appreciation of the viability of the project. He informed my grandmother that building a tank was so uneconomic that only someone with a total disregard for the value of money could conjure up such a scheme. My grandmother looked at him, sniffed somewhat disdainfully and went about her business.

Two days later, workmen and materials arrived, and within three days, my grandmother’s tank, exactly as she had envisaged it, was ready to be filled with water.To this day, the tank sits next to the kitchen wall, a silent tribute to the depth of understanding, a half-century or more ago, of men and women welded in conjugal harmony”.

Perhaps an inkling that much can be achieved with the soft sweetness of femininity rather than the naked aggression of feminism.I wish my father had shared these experiences with me when I was a young man. I have no doubt that I would have been a better man, husband and father.



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The heart-friendly health minister

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Dr. Ramesh Pathirana

by Dr Gotabhya Ranasinghe
Senior Consultant Cardiologist
National Hospital Sri Lanka

When we sought a meeting with Hon Dr. Ramesh Pathirana, Minister of Health, he graciously cleared his busy schedule to accommodate us. Renowned for his attentive listening and deep understanding, Minister Pathirana is dedicated to advancing the health sector. His openness and transparency exemplify the qualities of an exemplary politician and minister.

Dr. Palitha Mahipala, the current Health Secretary, demonstrates both commendable enthusiasm and unwavering support. This combination of attributes makes him a highly compatible colleague for the esteemed Minister of Health.

Our discussion centered on a project that has been in the works for the past 30 years, one that no other minister had managed to advance.

Minister Pathirana, however, recognized the project’s significance and its potential to revolutionize care for heart patients.

The project involves the construction of a state-of-the-art facility at the premises of the National Hospital Colombo. The project’s location within the premises of the National Hospital underscores its importance and relevance to the healthcare infrastructure of the nation.

This facility will include a cardiology building and a tertiary care center, equipped with the latest technology to handle and treat all types of heart-related conditions and surgeries.

Securing funding was a major milestone for this initiative. Minister Pathirana successfully obtained approval for a $40 billion loan from the Asian Development Bank. With the funding in place, the foundation stone is scheduled to be laid in September this year, and construction will begin in January 2025.

This project guarantees a consistent and uninterrupted supply of stents and related medications for heart patients. As a result, patients will have timely access to essential medical supplies during their treatment and recovery. By securing these critical resources, the project aims to enhance patient outcomes, minimize treatment delays, and maintain the highest standards of cardiac care.

Upon its fruition, this monumental building will serve as a beacon of hope and healing, symbolizing the unwavering dedication to improving patient outcomes and fostering a healthier society.We anticipate a future marked by significant progress and positive outcomes in Sri Lanka’s cardiovascular treatment landscape within the foreseeable timeframe.

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A LOVING TRIBUTE TO JESUIT FR. ALOYSIUS PIERIS ON HIS 90th BIRTHDAY

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Fr. Aloysius Pieris, SJ was awarded the prestigious honorary Doctorate of Literature (D.Litt) by the Chancellor of the University of Kelaniya, the Most Venerable Welamitiyawe Dharmakirthi Sri Kusala Dhamma Thera on Nov. 23, 2019.

by Fr. Emmanuel Fernando, OMI

Jesuit Fr. Aloysius Pieris (affectionately called Fr. Aloy) celebrated his 90th birthday on April 9, 2024 and I, as the editor of our Oblate Journal, THE MISSIONARY OBLATE had gone to press by that time. Immediately I decided to publish an article, appreciating the untiring selfless services he continues to offer for inter-Faith dialogue, the renewal of the Catholic Church, his concern for the poor and the suffering Sri Lankan masses and to me, the present writer.

It was in 1988, when I was appointed Director of the Oblate Scholastics at Ampitiya by the then Oblate Provincial Fr. Anselm Silva, that I came to know Fr. Aloy more closely. Knowing well his expertise in matters spiritual, theological, Indological and pastoral, and with the collaborative spirit of my companion-formators, our Oblate Scholastics were sent to Tulana, the Research and Encounter Centre, Kelaniya, of which he is the Founder-Director, for ‘exposure-programmes’ on matters spiritual, biblical, theological and pastoral. Some of these dimensions according to my view and that of my companion-formators, were not available at the National Seminary, Ampitiya.

Ever since that time, our Oblate formators/ accompaniers at the Oblate Scholasticate, Ampitiya , have continued to send our Oblate Scholastics to Tulana Centre for deepening their insights and convictions regarding matters needed to serve the people in today’s context. Fr. Aloy also had tried very enthusiastically with the Oblate team headed by Frs. Oswald Firth and Clement Waidyasekara to begin a Theologate, directed by the Religious Congregations in Sri Lanka, for the contextual formation/ accompaniment of their members. It should very well be a desired goal of the Leaders / Provincials of the Religious Congregations.

Besides being a formator/accompanier at the Oblate Scholasticate, I was entrusted also with the task of editing and publishing our Oblate journal, ‘The Missionary Oblate’. To maintain the quality of the journal I continue to depend on Fr. Aloy for his thought-provoking and stimulating articles on Biblical Spirituality, Biblical Theology and Ecclesiology. I am very grateful to him for his generous assistance. Of late, his writings on renewal of the Church, initiated by Pope St. John XX111 and continued by Pope Francis through the Synodal path, published in our Oblate journal, enable our readers to focus their attention also on the needed renewal in the Catholic Church in Sri Lanka. Fr. Aloy appreciated very much the Synodal path adopted by the Jesuit Pope Francis for the renewal of the Church, rooted very much on prayerful discernment. In my Religious and presbyteral life, Fr.Aloy continues to be my spiritual animator / guide and ongoing formator / acccompanier.

Fr. Aloysius Pieris, BA Hons (Lond), LPh (SHC, India), STL (PFT, Naples), PhD (SLU/VC), ThD (Tilburg), D.Ltt (KU), has been one of the eminent Asian theologians well recognized internationally and one who has lectured and held visiting chairs in many universities both in the West and in the East. Many members of Religious Congregations from Asian countries have benefited from his lectures and guidance in the East Asian Pastoral Institute (EAPI) in Manila, Philippines. He had been a Theologian consulted by the Federation of Asian Bishops’ Conferences for many years. During his professorship at the Gregorian University in Rome, he was called to be a member of a special group of advisers on other religions consulted by Pope Paul VI.

Fr. Aloy is the author of more than 30 books and well over 500 Research Papers. Some of his books and articles have been translated and published in several countries. Among those books, one can find the following: 1) The Genesis of an Asian Theology of Liberation (An Autobiographical Excursus on the Art of Theologising in Asia, 2) An Asian Theology of Liberation, 3) Providential Timeliness of Vatican 11 (a long-overdue halt to a scandalous millennium, 4) Give Vatican 11 a chance, 5) Leadership in the Church, 6) Relishing our faith in working for justice (Themes for study and discussion), 7) A Message meant mainly, not exclusively for Jesuits (Background information necessary for helping Francis renew the Church), 8) Lent in Lanka (Reflections and Resolutions, 9) Love meets wisdom (A Christian Experience of Buddhism, 10) Fire and Water 11) God’s Reign for God’s poor, 12) Our Unhiddden Agenda (How we Jesuits work, pray and form our men). He is also the Editor of two journals, Vagdevi, Journal of Religious Reflection and Dialogue, New Series.

Fr. Aloy has a BA in Pali and Sanskrit from the University of London and a Ph.D in Buddhist Philosophy from the University of Sri Lankan, Vidyodaya Campus. On Nov. 23, 2019, he was awarded the prestigious honorary Doctorate of Literature (D.Litt) by the Chancellor of the University of Kelaniya, the Most Venerable Welamitiyawe Dharmakirthi Sri Kusala Dhamma Thera.

Fr. Aloy continues to be a promoter of Gospel values and virtues. Justice as a constitutive dimension of love and social concern for the downtrodden masses are very much noted in his life and work. He had very much appreciated the commitment of the late Fr. Joseph (Joe) Fernando, the National Director of the Social and Economic Centre (SEDEC) for the poor.

In Sri Lanka, a few religious Congregations – the Good Shepherd Sisters, the Christian Brothers, the Marist Brothers and the Oblates – have invited him to animate their members especially during their Provincial Congresses, Chapters and International Conferences. The mainline Christian Churches also have sought his advice and followed his seminars. I, for one, regret very much, that the Sri Lankan authorities of the Catholic Church –today’s Hierarchy—- have not sought Fr.

Aloy’s expertise for the renewal of the Catholic Church in Sri Lanka and thus have not benefited from the immense store of wisdom and insight that he can offer to our local Church while the Sri Lankan bishops who governed the Catholic church in the immediate aftermath of the Second Vatican Council (Edmund Fernando OMI, Anthony de Saram, Leo Nanayakkara OSB, Frank Marcus Fernando, Paul Perera,) visited him and consulted him on many matters. Among the Tamil Bishops, Bishop Rayappu Joseph was keeping close contact with him and Bishop J. Deogupillai hosted him and his team visiting him after the horrible Black July massacre of Tamils.

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A fairy tale, success or debacle

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Ministers S. Iswaran and Malik Samarawickrama signing the joint statement to launch FTA negotiations. (Picture courtesy IPS)

Sri Lanka-Singapore Free Trade Agreement

By Gomi Senadhira
senadhiragomi@gmail.com

“You might tell fairy tales, but the progress of a country cannot be achieved through such narratives. A country cannot be developed by making false promises. The country moved backward because of the electoral promises made by political parties throughout time. We have witnessed that the ultimate result of this is the country becoming bankrupt. Unfortunately, many segments of the population have not come to realize this yet.” – President Ranil Wickremesinghe, 2024 Budget speech

Any Sri Lankan would agree with the above words of President Wickremesinghe on the false promises our politicians and officials make and the fairy tales they narrate which bankrupted this country. So, to understand this, let’s look at one such fairy tale with lots of false promises; Ranil Wickremesinghe’s greatest achievement in the area of international trade and investment promotion during the Yahapalana period, Sri Lanka-Singapore Free Trade Agreement (SLSFTA).

It is appropriate and timely to do it now as Finance Minister Wickremesinghe has just presented to parliament a bill on the National Policy on Economic Transformation which includes the establishment of an Office for International Trade and the Sri Lanka Institute of Economics and International Trade.

Was SLSFTA a “Cleverly negotiated Free Trade Agreement” as stated by the (former) Minister of Development Strategies and International Trade Malik Samarawickrama during the Parliamentary Debate on the SLSFTA in July 2018, or a colossal blunder covered up with lies, false promises, and fairy tales? After SLSFTA was signed there were a number of fairy tales published on this agreement by the Ministry of Development Strategies and International, Institute of Policy Studies, and others.

However, for this article, I would like to limit my comments to the speech by Minister Samarawickrama during the Parliamentary Debate, and the two most important areas in the agreement which were covered up with lies, fairy tales, and false promises, namely: revenue loss for Sri Lanka and Investment from Singapore. On the other important area, “Waste products dumping” I do not want to comment here as I have written extensively on the issue.

1. The revenue loss

During the Parliamentary Debate in July 2018, Minister Samarawickrama stated “…. let me reiterate that this FTA with Singapore has been very cleverly negotiated by us…. The liberalisation programme under this FTA has been carefully designed to have the least impact on domestic industry and revenue collection. We have included all revenue sensitive items in the negative list of items which will not be subject to removal of tariff. Therefore, 97.8% revenue from Customs duty is protected. Our tariff liberalisation will take place over a period of 12-15 years! In fact, the revenue earned through tariffs on goods imported from Singapore last year was Rs. 35 billion.

The revenue loss for over the next 15 years due to the FTA is only Rs. 733 million– which when annualised, on average, is just Rs. 51 million. That is just 0.14% per year! So anyone who claims the Singapore FTA causes revenue loss to the Government cannot do basic arithmetic! Mr. Speaker, in conclusion, I call on my fellow members of this House – don’t mislead the public with baseless criticism that is not grounded in facts. Don’t look at petty politics and use these issues for your own political survival.”

I was surprised to read the minister’s speech because an article published in January 2018 in “The Straits Times“, based on information released by the Singaporean Negotiators stated, “…. With the FTA, tariff savings for Singapore exports are estimated to hit $10 million annually“.

As the annual tariff savings (that is the revenue loss for Sri Lanka) calculated by the Singaporean Negotiators, Singaporean $ 10 million (Sri Lankan rupees 1,200 million in 2018) was way above the rupees’ 733 million revenue loss for 15 years estimated by the Sri Lankan negotiators, it was clear to any observer that one of the parties to the agreement had not done the basic arithmetic!

Six years later, according to a report published by “The Morning” newspaper, speaking at the Committee on Public Finance (COPF) on 7th May 2024, Mr Samarawickrama’s chief trade negotiator K.J. Weerasinghehad had admitted “…. that forecasted revenue loss for the Government of Sri Lanka through the Singapore FTA is Rs. 450 million in 2023 and Rs. 1.3 billion in 2024.”

If these numbers are correct, as tariff liberalisation under the SLSFTA has just started, we will pass Rs 2 billion very soon. Then, the question is how Sri Lanka’s trade negotiators made such a colossal blunder. Didn’t they do their basic arithmetic? If they didn’t know how to do basic arithmetic they should have at least done their basic readings. For example, the headline of the article published in The Straits Times in January 2018 was “Singapore, Sri Lanka sign FTA, annual savings of $10m expected”.

Anyway, as Sri Lanka’s chief negotiator reiterated at the COPF meeting that “…. since 99% of the tariffs in Singapore have zero rates of duty, Sri Lanka has agreed on 80% tariff liberalisation over a period of 15 years while expecting Singapore investments to address the imbalance in trade,” let’s turn towards investment.

Investment from Singapore

In July 2018, speaking during the Parliamentary Debate on the FTA this is what Minister Malik Samarawickrama stated on investment from Singapore, “Already, thanks to this FTA, in just the past two-and-a-half months since the agreement came into effect we have received a proposal from Singapore for investment amounting to $ 14.8 billion in an oil refinery for export of petroleum products. In addition, we have proposals for a steel manufacturing plant for exports ($ 1 billion investment), flour milling plant ($ 50 million), sugar refinery ($ 200 million). This adds up to more than $ 16.05 billion in the pipeline on these projects alone.

And all of these projects will create thousands of more jobs for our people. In principle approval has already been granted by the BOI and the investors are awaiting the release of land the environmental approvals to commence the project.

I request the Opposition and those with vested interests to change their narrow-minded thinking and join us to develop our country. We must always look at what is best for the whole community, not just the few who may oppose. We owe it to our people to courageously take decisions that will change their lives for the better.”

According to the media report I quoted earlier, speaking at the Committee on Public Finance (COPF) Chief Negotiator Weerasinghe has admitted that Sri Lanka was not happy with overall Singapore investments that have come in the past few years in return for the trade liberalisation under the Singapore-Sri Lanka Free Trade Agreement. He has added that between 2021 and 2023 the total investment from Singapore had been around $162 million!

What happened to those projects worth $16 billion negotiated, thanks to the SLSFTA, in just the two-and-a-half months after the agreement came into effect and approved by the BOI? I do not know about the steel manufacturing plant for exports ($ 1 billion investment), flour milling plant ($ 50 million) and sugar refinery ($ 200 million).

However, story of the multibillion-dollar investment in the Petroleum Refinery unfolded in a manner that would qualify it as the best fairy tale with false promises presented by our politicians and the officials, prior to 2019 elections.

Though many Sri Lankans got to know, through the media which repeatedly highlighted a plethora of issues surrounding the project and the questionable credentials of the Singaporean investor, the construction work on the Mirrijiwela Oil Refinery along with the cement factory began on the24th of March 2019 with a bang and Minister Ranil Wickremesinghe and his ministers along with the foreign and local dignitaries laid the foundation stones.

That was few months before the 2019 Presidential elections. Inaugurating the construction work Prime Minister Ranil Wickremesinghe said the projects will create thousands of job opportunities in the area and surrounding districts.

The oil refinery, which was to be built over 200 acres of land, with the capacity to refine 200,000 barrels of crude oil per day, was to generate US$7 billion of exports and create 1,500 direct and 3,000 indirect jobs. The construction of the refinery was to be completed in 44 months. Four years later, in August 2023 the Cabinet of Ministers approved the proposal presented by President Ranil Wickremesinghe to cancel the agreement with the investors of the refinery as the project has not been implemented! Can they explain to the country how much money was wasted to produce that fairy tale?

It is obvious that the President, ministers, and officials had made huge blunders and had deliberately misled the public and the parliament on the revenue loss and potential investment from SLSFTA with fairy tales and false promises.

As the president himself said, a country cannot be developed by making false promises or with fairy tales and these false promises and fairy tales had bankrupted the country. “Unfortunately, many segments of the population have not come to realize this yet”.

(The writer, a specialist and an activist on trade and development issues . )

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