Features
Heard at the club
Sena was a popular member of the club who expounded Marxism, Leninism and the thoughts of Mao Zedoing, with a liking for Trotskyism.
His two goats stories were educational and very popular.
They are as follows:
Supposing you have two cows
In Socialism:
You give one to your neighbour.
In Communism:
The government takes them both and gives you the milk.
In Fascism:
The government takes them both and sells you the milk.
In Nazism:
The government takes both and shoots you.
In Capitalism:
You sell one and buy a cow.
In Trade Unionism:
They take them from you, shoot one, milk the other and throw the milk away.
Then he appealed to his friends, not to have anything to do with cows for they only bring you unnecessary trouble.
During the 1971 insurrection, went missing. After about a year or so, he surfaced at the club after being in a JVP rehabilitation camp. His friends then asked him, “With all your Marxist ideals, what made you get involved in the JVP insurrection?”
“The five lectures! The five lectures!” he said.
“It was like swallowing narcotic pills!”
When a member asked what those lectures were, he enumerated them thus.
No: 1 – The economic crisis facing the country.
No: 2 – The so-called independence which the British foisted on us.
No: 3 – Indian expansionism in Sri Lanka.
No: 4 – The present so-called “Left Movement”.
No: 5 – The class difference on economic and social grounds.
* * *
Another club member was a proprietary planter from the Wanduramba village, about 12 miles away from Galle. He found that he could not pass urine. In great pain and discomfort, with his tummy building in a most unseemly manner, and sloshing with every step he took, he came to a friend’s house at Galle, on his way to the hospital.
After about 15 minutes, drop by drop, urine began to trickle into the bucket. A few minutes passed, and suddenly there was a gush of urine into the bucket, and within an hour or so, the patient was completely cured. Getting out of his bed, the much-relieved planter fell on his knees at the feet of Muhandriam Wijeratne and worshiped him.
On another occasion, another member came all the way from Morawak Korale to consult Muhandriam Wijeratne about a long-standing ailment – stones in the bladder. He had been to many doctors and veda-mahattayas, but had got no relief. The good Muhandiram cured him completely in a matter of weeks with his very efficacious “kasayas” (decoctions).
Muhandiram Wijeratne was also a member of the Galle Municipal Council representing the Minuwangoda Ward. His speeches were power-packed and was a real crowd-puller.
For the first time in any Municipal Council anywhere in the Island, Muhandiram Wijeratne spoke in Sinhala. This was over 80 years ago. (The first Sinhala speech in the Colombo Municipal Council was delivered 11 years later).
In a corner of the spacious garden of his sprawling mansion stood his dispensary. Close to it, on the road, was a bushalt where the students of both Mahinda and Sangamitta colleges gathered.
Sometimes on an afternoon, Muhandiram would stroll over to the bushalt and chat jovially with the girls and boys. He would constantly assure them that if they were very thirsty, water was available to them at this dispensary.
He had also instructed the dispensary staff to provide money for any student who needed bus fare.
He was also the father of Major General Lucky Wijeratne, the hero, who sacrificed his life in the field of war.
Yes! Muhandiram Wijeratne was indeed a great and good man.
* * *
Another day an elderly member of the club recalled his student days at Mahinda, during the time of an illustrious principal P. R. Gunasekera, who was a product of Royal College and then to Clare College, Cambridge where he obtained his M. A. He was also called to the bar from Middle Temple London.
On his return, he had joined the University College as a lecturer, prior to his appointment as the principal of Mahinda.
Though a novice in scholastic education he was devoted to the task. And, during his stewardship, the college progressed both in studies and sports.
As a keen and popular principal, coupled with his winning manners and charming personality, won him a seat in the Galle Municipal Council.
During his time Mahatma and Mrs. M. K. Gandhi and the Shri Nehru family visited Mahinda.
Not long afterwards, politics claimed its victim and his career came to an end when he was asked to resign as principal. He then sued the management and won his case and was awarded Rs. 25,000.00 damages (Quite a big sum 85 years ago), which he did not accept but turned over to charity.
After leaving Mahinda, he practised as an advocate at Galle and was at one time its crown counsel.
Thereafter he joined the judiciary and served as the District Judge of Kegalle, before he crowned his career as the High Commissioner of Australia.
This elderly member also told us this amusing story: During the time of the principal, referred to above, Baban Aiya, a member of the minor staff, was the college bell-ringer, a chore he performed in a most, musical, rhythmic and stylish manner – obviously the result of years of practice.
One day Baban Aiya fell ill, and his son Baptist deputized for him. But alas! Baptist wasn’t a patch on his old man. The first bell of the day summoning the boys to their classes, early that morning, rung in the most awful manner. There wasn’t the soothing melodious style of his father anywhere in it. Instead it was an ear-splitting, unmusical cacophony.
Peter, a student in the Junior Form at the time (1931) was an irrepressible mischievous imp, and as his classmates trooped into the class, he seized a piece of chalk and in large letters, wrote on the blackboard:
“Baptist,
The son of Baban,
Rang the bell
Dadang Badang!”
When the class teacher walked in and saw what was written on the blackboard, he was furious. (He was totally devoid of a sense of humour).
“Who wrote this?” “he demanded irately, and Peter unsuccessfully tried to suppress a snigger.
“Get up on the form, you!” shouted the master, pointing a shaking finger at Peter.
Hardly had Peter complied than the principal. P. R. Gunaskera came striding down the corridor, outside the classrooms, and seeing Peter standing on the form so early in the day, walked in and asked the class master what Peter had done.
“Sir,” explained the master,” When I asked the class who had written this on the blackboard, this boy impertinently tried to suppress a laugh. Sir, I am sure he’s the culprit””.
“Peter”, said the principal”, not unkindly. “Did you write these lines?”
“Yes, Sir” said Peter unhesitatingly”
“Then when your teacher asked who had done it, why didn’t you confess?””
“Sir” said Peter boldly,” I was waiting to confess to someone who could appreciate good poetry!”
As the rest of the class went into shock at Peter’s effrontery, Mr. Gunasekera smiled and said:
“Yes, Peter, your spontaneous poetic outburst is both amusing and clever, though the class blackboard is hardly the place for it.
I shall see that it finds a place in the next issue of the college magazine instead”.
And sure enough, it did!
* * *
This club member hailed from the Habaraduwa Electorate. He said that there is an Udagama named “Santhosagama” there. He then told us how it got its name.
Prime Minister Premadasa on a visit to the electorate had been received by its MP G. V. S. de Silva with the words “Bohoma Santhosai” (very happy). And, when the Premier invited G. V. S. to get into the
PM’s car to go round the electorate, he had again said “Bohoma Santhosai”. And when he got down from the Premier’s car he had repeated for the third time. “Bohoma Santhosai”.
So the Premier had suggested that this new “gama” be called “Santhosagama!”
* * *
These days when Ayurveda appears to be side-lined but the following stories show the efficacy of its treatment.
(i) The pregnant wife of a wealthy landowner was screaming in pain and it was the opinion of the Western medical doctors who were present there, that the child inside her womb was dead and that an urgent operation was necessary to save the life of the mother.
(ii) Now this was a time, when the rich people thought it below their dignity to go to a government hospital for confinement and since there were no nursing homes children were born in the palatial homes of these people, with a doctor or midwife in attendance.
Also, at this time, an operation was considered a virtual death sentence, and the panic–stricken landowner quickly sent his car to fetch Pothuwila Veda Hamuduruwo.
The physician monk arrived, and after a cursory examination of the patient, said that the baby was not dead. Then he took the landowner out of the room, and said. “The baby is alive – and its delivery must be expedited if the mother and the baby are to be saved”.
He then instructed the landowner to get one of his men to stealthily creep upto the window of the patient’s room with a gun and, without any warning, fire it.
On hearing the deafening report of the gun, the woman gave a loud shriek and promptly gave birth to a bony and very much alive baby son!
(ii) On another occasion too the doctors had told the husband that it would be a case of stillbirth.
Pothuwila Hamuduruwo was consulted and after a thorough examination, he marked a spot on the pregnant woman’s stomach and asked his “golaya” (pupil) to pierce the place with a pin.
The moment this was done, the child was immediately delivered and to everyone’s astonishment, on one hand of the baby was a spot of blood – apparently caused by the pin prick.
(iii) In another case, too, the unborn child was presumed to be dead, and Pothuwila Hamuduruwo, who had been hastily summoned, disagreed with the doctors. He took a pill from his medicine bag, dissolved it in a small pail of cold water and asked the woman to keep her hand immersed in the water. Within a few minutes another baby saw the light of day – thanks to the miracle maker Pothuwila Veda Hamuduruwo!